Innocence Lost
by GothicLolitaxo
Summary: After falling for her music teacher, Christine moves to NYC with her best friend, Meg. Upon a series of unfortunate events, Christine is left seeking comfort in the first man who showed interest in her. After booking Broadway's premiere musical Don Juan Triumphant the truth can finally come to light. Modern/AU
1. Chapter 1

Christine's POV

4:15pm _Shit_ I thought to myself as I tried driving the legal limit back to my house. My final exam before I graduate took way longer than expected _always daydreaming_. The traffic light was about to change from yellow to red and I took that opportunity to speed right through and make an illegal right turn onto my street. Thank God there wasn't too many people on the road let alone the village's useless police officers. This sleepy town's officers only source of action was to hand out tickets to people like me. I pulled into the driveway and grabbed my purse and bolted to the door and up the stairs barely hearing the greeting from my foster mother, Valerie.

My laptop was plugged in charging on my bed, unplugging it and setting it up on my desk I logged onto Skype. The clock on the corner of the screen read 4:26pm _Thank God._ I caught myself in the computers reflection, _I look like a hot mess._ I wiped the sweat away from my brow and flipped my hair to the side, my cheeks were red and I was still panting when the video chat square popped up along with the famed Skype ringtone.

I accepted the call and there I was on the screen, but as always his side appeared black.

"Good afternoon, Christine." He said.

"Hey!" I said, flustered _I am really out of shape._

"How was your final, final exam?"

"I think I did ok, I can't believe it's finally over. Come Saturday I will be a High School graduate and then I am off for New York City!" I still couldn't get over that I was finally going to be moving to my dream city to pursue musical theatre. It was going to be great, my best friend in the whole world, Meg is going too and we already signed the lease on our apartment. But the best part about moving to New York was that I was going to finally meet my voice teacher in person! I began these Skype lessons the end of sophomore year, he was the one who convinced me not to go to college but instead take voice, dance and acting classes that I chose myself.

"I think a 'congratulations' is in order, my dear." _My dear_ … he always makes me feel so safe and special. I know it's wrong, but over the last couple of years I have grown this attachment to my voice teacher, even though I have never seen him, it didn't matter.

Both my parents had died when I was in my freshmen year, my whole life was turned upside down. Up until then I was singing and dancing all the time, then all the sudden I was living with a foster family, my grades were slipping and I lost interest in everything. If it wasn't for Meg's mom, I might have given up entirely. Meg's mom, Ellen Giry worked in New York City in a casting agency and she knew this guy that was and is one of the greatest vocal coaches in the city, however he was very selective. It was a blessing he decided to work with me, for free too. I knew that I had to make it, I wanted to prove to him I was a worthy investment and hopefully I could pay him back somehow.

Before I knew it the hour was up and my least favorite thing to do was to say goodbye to him.

"Well the next time you see me I will be in New York City!" I was beaming and I didn't care.

He was silent. The mood of the last hour seemed to change almost instantaneously and I regretted being so stupid.

"I'm sorry, did I say something wrong?" was I actually pouting? _Get a grip, Christine_.

"No, my darling you did nothing wrong," I had a sigh of relief, but he continued. "Sit down, Christine there are somethings we must discuss, if you have a moment."

 _I have all the time in the world for you._ I sat down at the desk, I was nervous again.

"Christine, it appears that you have learned all that you can from me. When you move to New York, I think it would be best that you seek out a new teacher." He continued talking but I only heard those first two sentences. He went on and on about my progress and that a new opinion would be good for me. I didn't want to hear it, I must be dreaming, _no I was having a nightmare_. My whole future was decided based on his opinions, what he said to me, how he made me feel. And now as I am about to leave to be with him he tells me this?

"Christine? Are you alright?" I guess he finished his bullshit rant about whatever he was talking about.

"With all due respect, shouldn't I be the one to decide whether or not I wish to study with you any further?" Was all I could muster to say. _This could not be happening_.

"And with all due respect, you haven't been paying me for my services over the last two-years." _Wow, that was cold._

"Is that what this is about?" My voice raised, I couldn't control it. "Because I can pay you, my parents left me a lot of money that I wasn't able to touch until I turned eighteen-" he cut me off right there.

"It's not about money!" I thought I had raised my voice, he had gone from this gentle melodic voice to this booming angry tyrant, there was a pause, he had calmed himself, "I'm sorry, Christine. As I explained before, there is no more I can teach you. What you need to do now is find yourself a repertoire coach, work on your book and start auditioning. You have recorded every voice lesson; you know every exercise. I cannot hold your hand anymore."

"Why are you doing this?" I could not contain my tears anymore; they began to trickle down my face.

"Please stop crying, Christine," I couldn't stop, I was full on sobbing by this point. "I can even recommend you to a very dear friend of mine who specializes in rep. Would you like that?"

I couldn't think, I couldn't speak I was completely destroyed. All I could do was nod my head.

"That's my girl," I smiled. "You're going to be fine, Christine. You have trusted me for this long, and how many times have I been wrong?"

"None." I said softly.

"I will give my friend your information, and you two can set up an appointment once you're in the city."

It was like I wasn't even there. It was so unfair, how could he just decide my future for me, and why was I allowing it? I am weak. Christine Daae you are weak.

"I'm sorry, my dear but I have some other appointments this evening," I looked up at the screen, hoping he could find it in his heart to change his mind. "You are going to be fine, Christine. I promise."

 _It was now or never_. "Can I see you? When I am in the city, I mean?"

There was a long pause, maybe there was hope.

"I have to go." He hung up.

My heart sank into my stomach, even more tears came down my face. It was over, I was truly on my own. For after graduation, after my birthday I was to leave Valerie's house and start a new life in a new city with my parent's money. I didn't want money, I wanted my voice teacher, I needed him.

"Christine? Time for dinner!" I heard Valerie calling from down the stairs. I looked at myself in my vanity mirror, _God, I look like a mess._ I put on a brave face and went downstairs.

Erik's POV

I hated every moment of that exchange, but it had to be done. She thinks that she will never see me again, or should I say hear from me, she never saw me which was a good thing. Someone as sweet and innocent as Christine probably wouldn't have trusted a strange man in a mask teaching her how to sing, no our arrangement had been ideal. She accepted fully that my computer camera didn't work and never questioned why I didn't get a new one. She was a good girl, she truly wished just to sing and I gave her that platform. But things had changed, she was growing up and turning into a beautiful young lady, when I first met her she was a skinny acne prone fifteen-year-old who was awkward and shy but now, a few days away from her eighteenth birthday she had begun to blossom into a beautiful young woman. A woman with curves and the finest pores. I knew if we had carried on as planned I wouldn't be able to hide my attraction towards her. The game had changed, her voice wasn't enough for me anymore, I want all of her. She wasn't ready for that and I would rather her not look at me as her teacher. Though would she ever look at me at all? _This damned mask!_ No, it was better this way, I will keep tabs on her and when the time is right I will appear to her, but not as her teacher but as a man who she would spend the rest of her life with.

And as if on cue his cellphone began to ring, "Ah, Nadir you have impeccable timing!"

"Well you did text me to call you…"

"Take the compliment, Kahn you know I am not always so generous with those."

"What do you want, Erik?"

"I have a student for you, her name is Christine Daae." I was now staring at her Facebook profile. Her senior picture was absolutely stunning, wearing the traditional black cape that was draped on the sides of her shoulders, the tiniest amount of highlight on her shoulders and collar bones that accentuated her décolletage, her hair a beautiful shade of chestnut brown in barrel curls framing her heart-shaped face. Her emerald green eyes were piercing against her alabaster skin, and her perfectly shaped lips smiling enticingly with a deep shade of red lipstick. She looked so glamourous.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the Persian's voice on the other end of the cellphone, "Ok, Erik send me her information and we can schedule a consultation."

"Thank you, old friend." I said smiling at the computer screen.

"Are you having a stroke or something? Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Good bye, Nadir!"

Christine's POV

Today had been the longest day of my life. I cannot say this enough: Thank God for Ellen Giry or should I call her Martha Stuart? She had a serious eye for interior decorating that included paint, artwork, furniture carpets you name it she had a whole concept developed for our two-bedroom apartment in a part of Harlem called Hamilton Heights, which of course we loved considering Hamilton is the biggest musical in the game right now and we were approximately three blocks away from his uptown house.

The whole day was spent watching a bunch of hunky men setting up the final touches of our apartment which included my bed and dresser. The sun was setting and the mayhem of the day was deceased. All there was left to do was curl on the couch with my best friend in the entire world and a bottle of wine. Maybe life didn't suck so much after all?

"Cheers, baby!" Meg lifted the new wine glass in the air triumphantly. "We did it! We are in New York City!" she was so excited it was hard not to feed off her positive energy.

"I cannot thank your mom enough for all she has done for us, this place is really amazing!"

"Well she kind of had too, if you left it up to me this placed would be filled with Ikea furniture and bean bag chairs!" we both burst out laughing! I could imagine a confused Meg on the floor with nails and a hammer trying to set up some Ikea furniture.

"Hey! I could go for some Swedish meatballs right about now!" I declared taking a rather large sip of wine. How I loved the warm feeling alcohol gave me.

"Would you settle for some gluten-free pizza?" Meg winked at me as she got off the couch and headed for the well-stocked freezer.

I have to say, I have the cutest best friend ever! We were polar opposites in looks, Meg was tall and lean, your typical ballet body with amazing legs and feet. She always complained that her athletic body type made her look like a prepubescent boy, but she looked like a super model. Her hair was the perfect golden blonde and was one of those assholes who could roll out of bed and look perfect. She had always wanted to pursue ballet but found the whole thing to be way too hard and exploitative. Besides, her mother told her there was more money to be had dancing on Broadway anyhow.

I picked up the large bottle of Yellow Tail Cabernet Sauvignon, _not bad for ten dollars!_ I poured as another two glasses while Meg put the pizza in the oven.

"This is so cool, Chris." She said picking up her newly poured glass. "This is everything we dreamed about as kids! So I have us registered for a bunch of classes at Broadway Dance Center as well as some spin classes, boxing and hot yoga…" She kept listing off our itinerary in her sweet bubbly voice, Meg was such a light-weight, but her tipsy was the best. She would say and do the most ridiculous things when she got to that just-so-slightly buzzed state. I was envious on how hopeful she was; I was still dying inside over the whole "break up" ordeal. I call it a break up because that's how it felt; total rejection of the worst kind. I was depending on my incredible acting skills to get me through this rough time, the wine was helping too.

My phone was buzzing on the coffee table. Some calendar alerts that stated the following: REMINDER!

10:30am Finance meeting with Max

1:00pm Vocal consultation with Nadir Kahn

I had a few of the classes that Meg signed us up to do on there as well but the first two things on my agenda tomorrow were super important.

"Who's bothering you?" Meg called out to me from the kitchen, the pizza was finally done.

"No one, just my phone reminding me about my appointment with Max tomorrow…" I said walking into the kitchen with my cellphone in one hand the wine glass in the other.

"Oh the money guy!" She slurred.

"Yup, we have to go over my finances and make a game plan for the next year. He was my parent's financial advisor you know, they were really good friends before they…" I stopped myself before I started getting emotional, the wine was definitely not helping. "Anyways, we are going to go over my monthly budget and talk about how much income I will need to make on my own to make this all feasible without dipping into my savings."

"Sounds like a party" She said dryly, which of course made me laugh out loud.

"Shut up! If I want to make this whole New York thing work it is within my best interest that I listen to this guy."

Meg handed me a slice of the gluten-free pizza, cooked well-done just like I liked it.

"Alexa!" Meg shouted at the Amazon echo, "Play 80's playlist!" Alexa complied.

We sat down at the kitchen table eating pizza, drinking wine and listening to sounds of the 80's. I think I am going to like it here.

A/N: Hey there! I hope this story has peaked your interest so far! I am rating this story M because it will turn really quick. I will also be using trigger warnings at the beginnings of chapters when needed. I do not wish to upset anyone with any kind of subject going forward. So please let me let me know how you like it, be nice I am a sensitive soul.


	2. Chapter 2

Christine's POV

It was 10:30am and I was sitting in the waiting room anticipating my meeting with Max. Max Peterson has been my family's financial advisor since before I was even born. My dad met Max in college and he has been a part of the family ever since. My parents were financially very well off, but they both had come from families who could barely make ends meet. They enlisted Max in order to keep their finances in check in case anything was to happen. Once they had become successful, my father being a world renown violinist playing everything from classical to even modern pop music. He would go on tour with a lot famous bands like Kanas, Genesis, Courtney Love, and Belle and Sebastian when I was little, while my mom had been a litigator for one of the biggest law firms in New York. I was less fascinated with her job than I was with my dad's, and for obvious reasons.

Max was about five minutes late when he finally stepped out of his office to greet me in the waiting area, "Christine!" he exclaimed opening is arms wide and embracing me.

"Hi uncle Max!" I was happy to see him.

"Come in, come in we have so much to talk about." He said leading me into his office.

I sat down in the chair on the other side of his desk, smoothing out the wrinkles on my pencil skirt.

"Would you like anything to drink, water? Tea?" he asked politely.

"No thank you, I have my magic water with me." Showing off my glass water bottle. This had been a joke in my family for a while. My parents had invested in this Japanese water machine called Kangen which alkalizes and ionizes the water while also filtering out all the nasty stuff that's in the water supply. My dad would go on and on about water all the time to people that he was known as "the water guy." Long story short I now have the machine in our apartment and I drink the water that has a pH of 9.5.

"You're just like your dad." He said kindly. I took that as a compliment, my dad was awesome.

"So let's get down to business, I have outlined a monthly budget for you which would allow you to have pretty flexible hours in the day to take all the classes you want to but also if you wanted to get a part-time job to cushion a little you could, but you don't necessarily need to." He handed me a piece of paper laying out how much money should go to what. I studied it for a moment, it was completely thorough and included every expense I could think of.

"Your rent is on an autopay system so I didn't include that in the budget, so if it looks like there isn't a lot of money to play with that's why."

"It is more than enough money, Max. I am pretty low maintenance." I laughed. I mean $1,000 for food a month seemed like a lot.

"I'm sorry, Christine, you're probably right I just didn't want to stress you out if I didn't give you plenty of wiggle room. But a lot of these things do add up. Groceries, laundry, cable, Netflix, Amazon Prime, all of your classes I mean it is a lot of stuff you've never had to deal with."

 _Great he thinks I am an idiot._ He wasn't wrong, I had all of this stuff done for me all of my life, but that doesn't mean I wasn't paying attention. Perhaps I shouldn't be too upset over this, I am sure most eighteen year olds would be thrilled to have their lives mapped out for them.

"Thank you for this, Max. I really appreciate your time." And I meant it.

"Of course, Christine. And you can call or text me anytime if you have any questions or if you think you want to invest in any additional, miscellaneous things that I left out and I will be ready to advise you in any way possible." He stood up and waked around his desk to where I was sitting. He offered me his hand and I stood up, wrapping my arms around his waist. He hugged me back and it felt good, he was the closest thing I had to family.

"Oh I almost forgot," he turned to his desk and handed me an envelope. "Here is a small graduation/birthday gift for you."

I took the envelope in my hands, Max continued to look at me as if he wanted me to open it in front of him. I opened the envelope and opened the plain papyrus card, no funny greeting or anything fancy like that just an ornate butterfly on the cover, opening the card a check written out to me for the amount of five thousand dollars. "Holy shit!" I gasped. Max started laughing at my facial expression, my jaw had dropped to the floor in a Bugs Bunny cartoon fashion.

"How do you like that?" he continued laughing at my reaction.

"Uncle Max! I can't accept this!" I tried handing him back the ridiculous check

"Of course you can, sweetheart." He kept his hands up as to not accept the check back from me. "What kind of uncle would I be if I didn't spoil my niece from time to time?"

"A sane one!" I cried.

"Well we know that I am far from that. Enjoy your present, my dear. But I am afraid I do have other appointments today." He winked at me.

I wasn't going to win this one. Then I had a thought, I _should take him to dinner._ "Fine, but let me take you to dinner with some of this money." I pleaded with my best puppy dog eyes.

"Deal, how does Friday night sound?" he wrapped his arm around my shoulders walking me out of his office.

"Perfect! I will see you then!" We were standing back in the waiting room. I went in for a final hug and headed towards the elevator.

After having a quick lunch, I was running to make my next appointment. My appointment with Nadir Kahn. I have zero idea what to expect, he was a friend of my maestro and that is all I knew. But I guess if he trusted him, I would have to too. Standing in the elevator I was shaking like a leaf, I was so nervous and I needed to get it together.

The doors opened to a young woman sitting behind the receptionist's desk, "Hi there, how can I help you?" She smiled sweetly.

"Hi, yeah my name is Christine Daae I have an appointment with Mr. Kahn." I was still shaking and I must have looked so stupid.

"Of course, hi Christine. Your lesson will be in Studio D just down the hall and to the right." She was still smiling. Doesn't her face hurt doing that?

I smiled back at her and made my way down the hall and to the right. Studio D, here goes nothing.

Nadir's POV

There was a knock on the studio's door. 1:30pm the clock read, _so it must be the famed Christine Daae._

"Come in!" I called out. And she did. Jeez, Erik's description of her did not do her justice. The young woman before me was absolutely stunning. Not exactly my type but I could appreciate her beauty, and did I mention she was beautiful.

She walked right up to me extending her hand for a hand shake. I playfully swatted her hand away and I embraced her. Her body stiffened beneath me, the poor thing, "I'm a hugger!" I said trying to reassure her that she was safe.

She laughed nervously, "I'm Christine Daae." She was practically shaking.

"I know; Erik has told me all about you." I sure wish she would calm down.

"Erik?" _Oh shit, did I just fuck this up?_

"Your voice teacher," _shit, shit, shit need to recover_. "Oh I guess he probably wouldn't have told you his first name." _nice one_.

She looked deep in thought before finally replying, "No I guess not. In fact, I only ever really called him Maestro. When we first met he introduced himself as Mr. Y."

Leave it to Erik to completely leave out of this valuable information before I put my foot in my mouth.

"What does the 'Y' stand for?" she asked, taking me away from my thoughts of cursing out Erik.

"Oh, umm well you see it stands for…" and then I said the first thing that popped into my head "Yachtsman." _Stupid_.

"Erik Yachtsman? That's an odd name. I guess no odder than Daae, anyway." She fell for it. Good. But what's this? She seems sad.

"Everything alright, Christine?"

"I'm fine, just nervous is all." She blushed and looked up at me. She was a tiny thing.

"Don't be nervous! This is a safe place. Now should we get to singing?" I beckoned her over to the piano, she followed me hesitantly and I knew I was not going to enjoy this shy-act for a moment longer.

"Now normally I would suggest that you come to these sessions already warmed up, I am not a voice teacher, I can play you some scales but I cannot instruct you in that way." She nodded her head but her eyes were distant. "What I do is coach repertoire, which means I will help you build your book, select sixteen to thirty-two bar cuts and really help you sell it at an audition. Now I have been informed that you have quite an impressive voice, so let's vocalize you a little so I can get the gist of what you sound like."

And what would you know, after a few minutes of vocalizing I physically saw this girl bloom before my eyes. I had never heard anything that beautiful before, she had range, depth, maturity and amazing tonality. She was literally Erik Destler's wet dream. Or should I say Erik Yachtsman. Jesus Christ, the minute she leaves I am going to call that son of a bitch.

"Okay, Erik was right about you, your voice is absolutely incredible. I really love the mixy-soprano part of voice so I will pull some music for you over the next few days and I will text you some options. Now, I expect you to know your music so we can dive right in next week, okay?" Was she even listening to me? When she was singing you couldn't tell how sad she was but now all the sudden, oh no, what's this is she crying? "Christine? Are you alright? Why are you crying?" Erik didn't mention she had emotional issues.

After I asked her why she was crying she completely broke down. Slowly she crouched down to wrap her arms around her knees burying her face there. Her whole body was shaking; her crying was heart breaking. I lowered myself down to where she was and wrapped my arms around her. All I could think to do was to make soothing noises and rock her gently. We were like this for a few minutes before she lifted her head, "I'm so sorry, you must think I am such a freak." She sniffled. _Well that was a word for it_.

"Did I say something to upset you?" I asked pushing the hair that had fallen in front of her face behind her ear.

"No," she said immediately. "Well, yes…it's stupid. I'm stupid." She pushed herself away from me but still remained on the floor. "It's Mr. Yachtsman, Erik, he refuses to work with me anymore."

For God's sake Erik what have you done now? "What do you mean?"

"Well, we have been working together for the past two-years, he even convinced me that I didn't need to go to college, to come here to New York City to train with the best instructors. But up until a week ago that all changed when he told me he could no longer work with me and that I needed to work with you now." I looked and looked at her, this girl who had everything going for her was reduced to a tear filled mess sitting on my floor crying over a deformed musical genius. She continued, "I am just so scared, up until a few days ago I was ready and confident moving here because I thought I could rely on this person. But I was wrong, and I was so stupid to think someone like him would waste any more time on someone like me." I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Thankfully I audio record every lesson, for my own protection, people these days can say just about anything and it's better to keep everything on the record in case someone wanted to accuse me of harassment. I needed to play this for Erik, he literally destroyed this girl's spirit and if her spirit is not in it, I hate to say that all that hard work would be for nothing and all the hopes he had for her would be gone.

"There must have been some miscommunication then, I hardly believe he would give up on his greatest pupil," _his only pupil_. "I could speak with him if you'd like. Maybe he has reconsidered?" her eyes were sparkling now, and I couldn't tell if it was from happiness or the remaining tears that had yet to escape were just glistening.

"You won't tell him how embarrassing I was, will you?" she laughed, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand.

"Of course not, I know exactly how to play it." I winked, she laughed more. I offered her my hand so that we could both get off this questionable floor. "Christine, you are a lovely singer, no matter what happens you need to be doing this for yourself. No one else. This needs to be for you." She nodded.

"I understand, thank you for your kindness, Mr. Kahn. This whole move has been extremely overwhelming."

"Please call me Nadir. Now, same time next week then?" I smiled and for the first time this day she gave me a real genuine, not nervous, smile. "You really need to smile more, you're too pretty not to." I wrapped my arm around her shoulder walking her to the door. Her little body melted against mine, I felt almost paternal about her. I wanted to help her, she was too amazing to let this bother her like that.

"Thank you, Nadir. I promise no more crying from here on out." She joked.

"We will see, it was lovely meeting you, Christine. And I will speak to Erik on your behalf."

And with that she was gone. I made sure she got into the elevator before I began to dial Erik's cellphone. Not even a minute passed before she left there was a knock on my studio door. I wasn't expecting anyone after Christine so there must be someone who came to the wrong door. But before I could say anything, there was my masked friend towering me in the door way. He shut the door behind him and strolled right into my studio, "So how did she do? She is amazing is she not?" _was he serious?_

"Erik, I think we need to talk about this." I folded my arms in front of my chest.

"Talk about what? What happened? What did you do?" he voiced was building up to that final accusation.

"What did I do? What did _you_ do? You didn't prepare me at all for this!" I was near shouting.

"What on Earth are you blathering about, Nadir?"

"Ok, so let's count the ways I fucked up because lord knows you won't own up to anything. So let's start with me calling you Erik, and gee why would I do a thing like that? After all you told her your name was Mr. Y and why you wouldn't let me in on that, who knows I guess today was think on your toes day to which I replied oh it stands for Yachtsman. So now that's your name congratulations." I was practically pacing the room I was so angry.

"Wait, what slow down. What is Yachtsman?" His calming tone was really irritating me. I took a deep breath and tried to relax myself.

"I was speaking to Christine, your student Christine, or should I say your former student because I just spent the last ten minutes sitting on this dirty ass floor with her consoling her while she cried her eyes out about you abandoning her." Couldn't even keep calm. With every sentence I began to yell louder and louder till I was practically screaming. Erik was still standing there quiet as a church mouse, which under usual circumstances would have scared the shit out of me, but I took his silence to mean for me to continue. "Anyway, I said to her 'Oh Erik recommended you highly' meanwhile you hadn't even told her your first name let alone your last name. She told you had introduced yourself as Mr. Y, which by the way would have been great information to know, so thank you for that. Then she asked me what the 'Y' stood for so I had to tell her it stood for Yachtsman. So maybe you would be so kind as to tell me what I need to know so that when she comes back next week I don't make a complete ass of myself."

The room was so silent you could hear a pin drop. My attitude of not caring what Erik thought of my rant was slowly going away and I felt myself gulp. His eyes were always so intense; it was like he was looking right through me.

He walked over to the chair across the room and sat down, "She cried to you?" was all he said. Never you mind everything else I had said to him, he decided to harp on that one comment.

I walked over to where he was and took the chair adjacent to his, "She broke down and starting sobbing about how she thought you would be here for her when she moved to the city. She said you no longer wished to work with her, so I told her I would speak to you about it." I was on the edge of my seat, with my elbows resting on my knees and my fingers interlaced. "What happened between you two? She seemed overly upset over losing a teacher." At this Erik shot me a nasty glare.

"Nothing happened between us and that's just it." He crossed his leg and leaned back in chair is head resting against the back for just a moment. "You saw her today, did you not? She is a strikingly beautiful young woman and then on top of that has the voice of an angel. You see why I could not continue to work with her, especially now since she could physically see me."

I was still confused, "Didn't you two have Skype lessons?"

"Yes, what about them?"

"Well, doesn't that require video chatting?"

"It does, except for when you tell someone your camera is not working." He muttered, thinking I would just let that tiny detail slide.

"So you're telling me she has only ever heard your voice?"

"I have a plan, Nadir. Although now it seems like there will have to be some adjustments made." He stood up and began pacing himself, his fingers interlaced at the small of his back.

"Well are you going to let me in on this plan? And are you going to contact Christine?"

He kept pacing and thinking pacing and thinking, I thought I was going to get dizzy watching him.

"I still have a lot to think about. Your meeting with Christine didn't go the way I had hoped." He finally said.

"Well, it wasn't all bad," I finally stood to meet him. "When she opened her mouth to sing I swear it was like there were two people in this studio. One was the girl who came in here with a vacant look in her eyes and the other who sings so beautifully that I literally saw her come to life right before me. It was incredible, Erik. You must be really proud." I put my hand on his shoulder and of course he instantly rejected my touch.

"More than proud, Nadir…. I think I'm in love." My eyes widened and suddenly all of this began to make sense. I had to choose my words wisely, for I think this is probably the first time he has admitted his feelings for well, anyone.

"Do you want to go get a drink?" Was all I could think to say.


	3. Chapter 3

Christine's POV

My mind was racing and going over everything that had transpired today. I couldn't keep my thoughts away during the entire ballet class. I was distracted and kept making simple mistakes, even Meg nudged me to ask what the hell was wrong with me. Usually this was the other way around, I would distract myself with dancing or singing or whatever outlet I could find but it just wasn't working today. I kept my eyes glued to the clock praying for it to be 5pm already.

I don't even think I thanked the ballet mistress before bolting out the door and into the dressing room.

"What the fuck was that?" An exasperated Meg said closing the door behind her.

"Please, Meg I don't want to talk about it," I was pulling off my tights and leotard as quickly as I could. "Not here anyways."

"Did something happen? You're really worrying me." She tried approaching me as I feverishly ripped out every god forsaken bobby pin out of my hair, I muttered some curse words under my breath as I realized the mess I was making. She grabbed me by both wrists, "Chris, calm down!" she was practically shaking me, but I couldn't look her in the eye. "Okay, forget everything. We are going out tonight. You clearly need it." She finally let go of me and began undressing herself.

My breathing was shallow and labored; it felt like someone was sitting on my chest. I sat down on the bench, now fully dressed and waited in silence as Meg fixed her makeup. The other girls in the room could have very well have not been there at all, and soon they all left leaving the two of us alone again.

Meg had changed into a deep-v, black body suit and some high-waisted shorts, maybe this was her plan after all? I felt completely silly wearing my clothes from earlier, my blouse was modest and my pencil skirt was professional, but everything was form fitting so I guess I could get away going out like this.

I hadn't noticed that Meg squatted down in front of me to catch my eyes which were fixated on the ground, she lifted my chin and said, "Ready to go, baby?" I gave her a half-smile, hers was so contagious I couldn't help it. She extended her neck and kissed me on the corner of my mouth. I grinned wider, looking down at her I offered her my hand and we both stood up and left Broadway Dance Center, our fingers interlaced.

Erik's POV

Nadir insisted that we go out for drinks tonight, which normally I would have refused but tonight was different, tonight I was going to debut my brand new mask. This mask, of my own invention was a super thin material and kind of latex that was designed to create the illusion of the other side of my face. In regular lighting, you could obviously tell it was a tad bit off, but in a dark bar at night, I could pass for any normal looking man. I parted my hair to the right so that the hair would fall a little bit in front of the mask to hide the fact that it was obviously not my face. Now the finishing touch was to take some liquid foundation and powder to conceal the edges of where the mask met my real skin. With everything being blended, I was ready to test out the new mask.

Not that I was entirely opposed to wearing my regular mask out, we are in New York City after all, plenty of weird people walking around doing odd things and no one looks twice, but I wanted to feel normal for the first time in my life.

I arrived downtown at our usual haunts, a little speakeasy hidden inside of a restaurant called the Under Dog, I liked this place for exclusivity and Caribbean cask scotch. I saw Nadir sitting in our usual place at the end of the bar. He didn't notice me come in, maybe the mask was a success. I approached him and he gave me the side eye. I sat down beside him and he quickly spoke, "Actually, I am saving that seat for my friend…" I stared him right in the eye and immediately began laughing.

"So I am your friend? Thanks Nadir!" I laughed at his now awe-struck face.

"Well, I'll be damned," he was dumbfounded. "That mask is incredible." He spoke in a hushed tone.

"Well maybe in here, it would look rather ridiculous to walk around like this in broad day light, but yes it is quite impressive is it not?" I winked at him. The bar tender handed me a glass of the Balvenie, Nadir must have preordered for me.

"I really didn't notice that it wasn't a real face." He kept looking at me. "So does this mean you have changed your mind about meeting with Christine?" and there it was. He was really quite insufferable. I was all the sudden having deep regrets asking for his help, but what else could I have done?

"I have not yet decided what I intend to do regarding Christine," I took a much needed sip of my scotch. "Why do you insist on pressing me on this matter?"

"Erik, you have no idea the amount of upset your absence has caused this girl." He stated as-matter-of-factly, taking a sip of his own drink. "I just don't feel comfortable being in the middle of this…what even is this?" and there was the multi-million- dollar question.

The obvious answer was that despite my best efforts I had fallen hopeless in love with an eighteen-year old girl with the voice of an angel.

"It's complicated, Nadir." Was all that I could come up with.

"Everything with you is complicated," He laughed, finishing off his glass. "Look, if you love her like you say you do, maybe it would be beneficial if she started seeing you in a different light."

The irony of his words did not go unnoticed by me. Different lighting made this mask work, but it couldn't be that easy.

"And since she's never seen you, and you went by a different name I don't see why she couldn't meet you as you and not her fictitious voice teacher." He had a point. "But, if I were you I wouldn't wait too long." He gave me a look as if I knew what he was talking about.

I lowered my voice and tone, "And what do you mean by that remark?"

"Christine is a beautiful girl, and it won't take long for someone else to notice that."

I couldn't help my laughter. Christine is a good girl who never had any interest in worldly things like boys and dates. She is serious, hardworking and self-interested, she wouldn't want any boy distracting her from her goals.

"I'm sure some foolish boy will try, Nadir," finally finishing off my glass. "But she won't bite."

"And you're so certain?" again with that look.

"Yes. Why?"

"1 o'clock." He was laughing now. I turned my body to face "1 o'clock" to see what on Earth had him so giddy.

I was not laughing at the scene before me, across the room in one of thousands of bars in New York City, there she was sitting down at the other end of the bar engaging in an intimate conversation with some Wall Street schmuck, smiling and giggling to whatever mindless drivel that was spouting out of his mouth. It was enough to make me sick.

Christine's POV

Meg had been raving about this bar downtown that we absolutely had to check out, she knew that I didn't do loud and that I really had a deep appreciation for alcohol. My foster mother, Valerie owned her own liquor store where she specialized in highly allocated spirits and wines. I was always fascinated by what Meg would refer to as "man drinks" like bourbon and scotch. Valerie had quite the selection of single malt scotches.

We got off the subway and walked several blocks to the restaurant. Bypassing the actual enterance and walking down a flight of stairs we found the door marked "Underdog" and let ourselves in. Surprisingly enough, we were the only women in the room. I looked over Meg who already had a devilish grin on her face, she leaned in close to my ear and whispered, "Let's play who can get a guy to buy her a drink first."

"And what will she get as a prize?" I asked.

"Why another a drink of course! From the loser." She giggled.

It was on. We saw a group of guys chatting and drinking on the side of the bar closest to where we were and I made a bee-line for the best looking one who happened to be sitting down. The stool next to him was occupied by another well-dressed man who he was conversing with, well until he saw me approaching and offered me his stool. I slid by, purposely brushing my body against his in my first attempt to flirt. I sat down and the bartender handed me a menu, explaining how they had classic cocktails and then their rendition of said cocktails along with their spirits and such.

Curious, I ordered their version of an old fashioned. When the bartender came back with my drink he told me the total, that is when the young man to my left spoke up, "Put it on my tab." He said. I turned to him and thanked him. The bartender gave a knowing smile and left us with the drink. "You're too beautiful to be paying for your own drinks. My name is Ryan, by the way." He offered me his hand.

"Christine," I extended my own. He took my hand and placed a kiss on top of it. _Oh brother._

Okay, I got the drink so now what? Wasn't Meg supposed to come and save me from this creep? I tried to turn around to find Meg when I felt hand touch my arm which made me flinch, "Whoa there, didn't mean to scare you," his teeth looked fake. "You're not looking for your date are you?" He was trying to be playful and although he was good looking enough he just was not my type.

"Well actually, I did come here with my friend," I finally got loose of his hold and spun around to see Meg in conversation with a guy who may as well have been the guy I was talking to. All these men in suits looked alike. She had a drink in her hand, who had gotten theirs first, her or me? I waved at her when she finally stopped making goo-goo eyes at her new friend, she waved back and shrugged pointing to her drink. I guess neither one of us knew who won the bet. I turned back to face Ryan and since he did buy me a drink maybe I should chat him up for a little before trying to get back to hanging out with Meg, after all I did need to tell her about what happened today, even if she judged me for my behavior.

"So what do you do?" I asked politely, little did I know that those were the key words to set him off on some long story about where he went to school and how his dad knew this guy who knew this guy and he got this job and probably about how wonderful he was and how little his penis was and all this smooth guy stuff was a way to over compensate for that. I mean what did I know; I stopped listening after a while. He was clearly in his upper twenties and still he was talking like the sixteen-year-old boys at my high school. All the boys at school who were even remotely attractive were just like this, sure they were cute but there was no personality. But I kept smiling and nodding my head at whatever he was talking about. Hopefully my capable acting skills were working, because this conversation was boring and now I wish I could buy him a drink so that I didn't feel like I owe him my attention.

Finally I felt a tap on my shoulder and it was Meg to the rescue. She made her way between Ryan and me and whispered in my ear, "Those two across the bar have been staring at you for the last five minutes." I turned my head, squinting my eyes I took a look at who she was talking to. _Well, I'll be damned._ "Maybe we should go say hi?" she winked at me. _Little did she know_. I quickly thanked Ryan for the drink and company but I had to go say hi to a friend of ours, which of course was not a complete lie.

We made our way around the bar and towards the men that Meg was so desperate to introduce herself to.

"Hi Mr. Kahn," I said, making Meg stop in her tracks and look at me as if I was fucking with her.

He stood up from his bar stool and approached us, his friend with his back still to us, "I told you to call me Nadir," He hugged me and with the liquid courage I had in my system I felt comfortable hugging him back. "Hi I am Nadir Kahn, Christine's new vocal coach." He went in to hug Meg too, and her being less awkward then me hugged him back. "Hi Nadir, I am Meg Giry, Christine's best friend." I knew the look she was giving him, she literally had zero shame.

"Ellen Giry's daughter?" _Oh, the boner kill._ I saw Meg blush and push a stray hair behind her ear, nodding her head.

"Your mother sends me clients all the time. Such a small world." He was still smiling at her. _Maybe it wasn't a boner kill_.

"Would you ladies like to sit, I am sure my friend won't mind giving up his seat." He said loud enough for his friend to hear and to actually stand up and off the stool.

Meg and I took their seats, looking at each other deviously. Usually I would be against drinking with my teacher but I wasn't about to ruin Meg's time and Nadir had been ridiculously kind to me today. Maybe I should buy him a drink.

"What are you drinking?" I asked Nadir.

"Nothing you'd like I am sure." He laughed at me. I rolled my eyes, I literally hate that men just assume that I am girl that I don't actually like liquor.

"Try me," I said challenging him. He shrugged and handed me the glass. I held it to my nose and what I was about to do, probably wouldn't have happened if I hadn't had a slight buzz going. "Hmmm I am getting a lot of tropical fruits, mainly passion fruit." This had all three of them intrigued. I took a sip and held the liquid in my mouth before sending it down the sides of my tongue and swallowing it. "Notes of vanilla and citrus, but the finish is most definitely vanilla." I took another sip, "This is scotch, right?"

At this point Nadir had stopped smiling like an asshole as was genuinely surprised, "Damn girl, you got a great nose and palate." I handed him back the glass and he gave me a high-five the other hand.

"Not just any, scotch." _That voice_. My attention was switched immediately to Nadir's friend, who, until just this moment made his presence more apparent. And boy did he have a presence. From where I was sitting it was apparent that he had at least a foot on me, maybe even more. If Nadir was around the six-foot mark, that must have made his friend at least six-foot-five. It was hard to get a good look at him, the bar was darker on this side and most of his hair fell on the right side of his face. He continued, "That is a Balvenie fourteen-year old Caribbean cask single malt scotch whisky. This whisky has been matured for fourteen years in traditional oak casks before being transferred to Caribbean rum casks to impart some extra flavor." Usually I lose interest when some random guy is talking to me, but he was different. Every word he said captivated me, I felt myself feeling that warm feeling I had the night before, except it wasn't just the alcohol. I was flushed with a feeling of arousal that both flustered and embarrassed me. But I think I was playing it cool, at least Meg wasn't nudging me to get me to cut out any odd behavior I could have possibly been displaying.

"I'm sorry, how could I have been so rude," Nadir said, breaking my trance. "This is my student, Christine. Christine this is-"

"Erik." He interrupted and my stomach nearly feel out of my butt. "Erik Destler." _Rats._ Well Erik was a common name I suppose. Although, it did make sense, if it had been my maestro he would have recognized me instantly. He had lowered himself to shake my hand, and immediately I was hooked looking into his honey colored eyes. They almost seemed to glow in the darkness.

"And my name is Meg, in case anyone cared." My beautiful soul sister chimed in. I giggled at her pouting, she was being extra cute and I knew exactly why.

I turned my attention to the bar tender, who came to check in on us, "Hi, can I get us three doubles of the Balvenie, straight up and a Mai Tai." The liquor was starting to hit me, and when I am tipsy I can be quite lovey-dovey. I think I must have been smiling and batting my eyelashes because now I felt a punch go into my left shoulder. Meg is always studying my face when she should be studying Nadir's.

The bartender returned with everything I had asked, and I handed him a hundred-dollar bill as quickly as I could before either of the men could catch on to what I was doing. I swiveled in my seat handing Nadir and his friend two new glasses. Both their faces looked confused until they realized what just happened. "No, Christine. I can't accept this, let me pay for it." Nadir demanded.

"This is my way of thanking you for what you did for me today." I caught Meg looking at me, wanting me to elaborate. "I had a total breakdown in his office and he was so kind to me. So please, Nadir accept my thanks." Batting my eye lashes once again, this seems to work on men.

We all raised our glasses and clinked them together, when Meg made a grand gesture towards the group of us, "Erik and Christine! You two did not make eye contact! You know what that means!" _Dear God, no_. "That's seven years of bad sex!" _And there it is._

I could feel my face getting hot, red with embarrassment. Luckily, it seemed that neither one of the guys thought she was acting inappropriately and laughed along with her. I put my free hand over my eyes, hoping to come off as cute rather than humiliated, and laughing along with them. This Erik guy was being such a good sport; Meg can come off rather strong. But it seemed like her sex comment didn't bother him, so of course in typical Meg style she pushed the envelope even further, "Well there is a way to rectify the situation," her voice became husky and sexy. Flashing her teeth with a devious smile she waited for the poor fool to ask her what could be done. Of course it was Nadir who spoke up.

It was clear those two had hit it off right away and to be honest I wasn't even mad about it. He was probably in his early thirties but for some reason none of this seemed all the skeevy to me, so I guess it's better not to question it.

"Well, there are technically two ways; one way is to down your drink, but seeing that you're both drinking scotch that doesn't really seem like a good idea," her voice lingering.

"Expensive scotch," Erik corrected her. I don't know what it is about him but he is really kind of sexy. Except that word doesn't entirely do him justice. I needed to stop looking at him before everyone notices that I am undressing him with my eyes.

"Just what I thought," She continued, using a voice that mocked professional. "Oh well, then. I guess you'll just have to make out for ten seconds." She looked directly into his eyes, challenging him.

I gulped, not knowing how to proceed. I wasn't entirely a prude, I had played a fair share of spin the bottle, not to mention practicing with Meg while watching _Cruel I_ n _tentions._ In fact, I made out with Meg a lot, which to other people might seem really weird but again not questioning it. I looked at Erik, who's face I couldn't entirely read, there were a couple ways this all could go. I could be bold and brassy and just kiss him and move on, but what if he's totally not into it and I scare him away and Nadir thinks I'm some kind of slut and now I would be out two voice teachers. Or I could go in to kiss him and he slams his drink and then I look stupid.

But before I could think I saw him look defiantly at Meg, shaking his head as he faced me. You could cut all this tension with a butcher knife, my palms were so sweaty and my face was probably flushed with embarrassment. I looked up at Erik and then back down at my drink, I could just drink it and move on from this stupid predicament my supposed best friend put me in, or I could just kiss him for ten seconds. Ten seconds couldn't be that long. Could it?

"Okay, fine just kiss me, if it will make her shut up!" I didn't mean to come off so cold, but I also didn't want to come off as desperate.

He looked confused, since both Nadir and Meg were laughing at us as if we were a circus act. I reached out and grabbed his available hand to pull him down close to me, tilting my head to the right and closing my eyes; I placed my lips in between the top and middle of his mouth and counted to ten. That was when I felt his hand let go of mine and found its way to my thigh. The kiss was innocent enough and his touch was gentle. But that kiss was electric, I didn't want to stop.

I could hear Meg and Nadir cheering and laughing as we finished the deed, I opened my eyes and Erik had returned to his full height. Still laughing at me, I playfully punched Meg's arm, "You're not making me look good in front of my teacher!" I fake scolded her.

"On the contrary, Christine! You just made my entire life!" He said in between laughing and giving me a high five. "This has been the most entertaining night of my life."

I looked back at Erik who had resumed drinking the rest of his scotch. He didn't seem pleased. I cannot believe that I completely misread the situation. I wanted to leave.

"Yeah, Christine," Meg whined. "Don't be embarrassed, we are all friends here." And with that she lifted her glass in the air before swinging it back down to her mouth, downing the rest of her drink. "Would it make you feel better if Nadir and I did it too?"

"I think it would make you and Nadir feel better if you did it too." I heard Erik sarcastically say, which immediately made me burst out laughing. Erik flashed me a smile, maybe one the first I had seen from him all night.

"Okay kids that's enough!" Nadir declared. "You all had your fun, now let's move on." Meg and I looked at each other and started laughing again. Not that what he said was funny but that we were getting to that giggly place and the realization that we are real life grown-ups in a bar in New York City and this is all real.

"I love you, Christine." She said laughing so hard she was crying.

"I love you too, Meg." I grabbed her hand and we began to swing our arms together while swiveling in our bar stools.

We didn't notice that the bartender had come back towards us to see how we were doing when I felt Erik's hand on my shoulder. "Do you girls want anything else?"

I turned around to greet our chipper bartender, "Oh, I think I will just have a glass of champagne and big glass of water."

"Oh, that sounds so good, me too!" Meg said.

"Put it on my tab, and another two scotches for us."

Once all of our drinks were distributed Nadir forbade us from clinking again. We all laughed of course, even Erik laughed and if I thought his speaking voice was something then his laugh was like liquid gold.

We got to talking about what we girls were up to in the city and the classes that we were going to be taking. Nadir and Erik actually seemed genuinely interested in what we talking about, well what Meg was talking about. I let her take charge since I knew she was having the hots for Nadir.

Being a Monday night the bar cleared out pretty early, and there were only a few people left including us. I heard my stomach growl, then I realized I hadn't eaten since before my voice lesson with Nadir and I was absolutely starving. Not wanting to kill the fun I suppressed my hunger, knowing Meg would be down to eat with me when we were done.

But I think Erik heard it because while Meg and Nadir were clearly engaged with one another he leaned in and whispered in my ear, "You want something to eat?"

"Oh, you don't have to get me anything," My hand was on his forearm keeping him close to me. "I'll grab something before we go home. I don't want to ruin their fun."

I was looking at him dead on now. He was a bit fuzzy now, in my blurred vision but he was beautiful to me. I couldn't stop smiling and giggling, part of me thought I was being real cute and the other was yelling at me to stop being so ridiculous. But as one would suspect that voice that had any good logical thinking was quickly slipping away and now all my thoughts and decisions weren't me. They were drunk Christine, and to be honest I don't really know that girl.

All of the sudden I needed to pee so I tried to stand up and immediately began to wobble just a little.

"Are you okay?" Erik said. He felt so protective over me.

"I'm fine," I laughed, he was holding me, his arm around my waist. "I just need to run to the bathroom." I looked up and smiled at him. He smiled back.

I began to walk away from the group but before I was out of sight out of mind all I could hear was, "Christine Daae, ladies and gentlemen," from Meg, followed by, "Look at that thing move." And of course she was talking about my butt. I whipped my head around and gave her a look before I finally decided to go to the bathroom.

I felt like I was in there for a really long time. I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. Is that what I looked like? I flipped my hair in front of my face and then back again, my cheeks were flushed and my eyes were watery. I think this was sign we should call it a night. Although would Meg come home with me? I didn't want to tell her what to do but I had also never navigated my way home alone before.

I left the bathroom and immediately I saw Erik standing outside the door, but before I could say anything he had backed me against the wall and was kissing me with a brand new passion than the kiss we had shared before. I couldn't think, I just melted beneath him, it was almost too good to be true. I snaked my arms around his neck and kissed him back. I was officially lost. Drunk Christine wasn't an uptight bitch, she was fun and flirty and might have found a quality guy on her first night out.

I found myself forgetting why I was so upset earlier today. Thank you, Erik.

I don't remember the kiss ending, I don't really remember leaving the bar with Meg, Nadir and Erik. But we weren't there anymore. We were walking the streets of New York City, my arm linked with Erik's and Meg's with Nadir. I was loving this. I was on top of the world.


	4. Chapter 4

Trigger Warning: Drug use

Christine's POV

All week long, all I could think about was Erik. I needed to see him again. It was so strange this feeing, I mean we kissed way more than we spoke, but I was hooked. I wanted to know everything about him, I wrote and deleted so many emails to Nadir to ask about his friend, to which Meg politely informed me that I was being aggressive. I told her that she was being a Debby Downer, to which she replied, "I'd rather be a Debby Downer than a Debby Desperado."

I decided to wait until our next lesson to ask, which meant this whole weekend I would have to live tormented, wondering about my mystery man.

Thankfully I have dinner with Max tonight, the more activities the better. Knowing me I need all the distractions I could get if I was going to make it till Monday. We decided to meet at the Time Warner building in Columbus Circle, there were several restaurants in the upscale mall that resides there and we decided on the Marc Murphy restaurant: Landmarc.

I was standing in front of the full length mirror in my room examining my little black dress ensemble. I haven't lived here for even a week and I could feel a real change in how I saw myself. In high school, boys never gave me the time of day, I always had a problem with my size since girls who did constantly get asked out were always thin and shapeless. For years I thought I was fat, I mean I still kind of do, having to wear larger sizes in certain brands because my breasts and butt are large but my waist isn't and it's as if fashion designers think that people who have my size breasts and butt must be a giant box of a person. I know Meg is jealous of my curves but that's only because she doesn't have to live with the reality and the responsibility of having them.

I looked over at my cellphone which informed me that it was time to go meet Max. Grabbing all of my stuff I headed out the door at to the subway. Thankfully the train came right away and there were actually seats available. This is what I would call a double win. My phone buzzed, there was a text from Meg that said, "Let me know when you're finishing up with dinner, we can ride up together. I am definitely going to be dead after this barre class." I smiled at the phone and thanked my lucky stars that I didn't have to ride the subway back alone. I could already feel the stares from men on the subway, undressing me with their eyes. Not that I could really blame them, but they could at least try harder not to make it so obvious. At least no one tried to talk to me, so I guess it could have been worse.

I got off the train at Columbus Circle and headed right for the Time Warner Building. The thing that I hated most about New York was the tourists. They were literally everywhere and make it virtually impossible to walk around them. I tried to remain calm, but it was a hot evening and other people being near me was giving me anxiety. Thankfully I made it inside without murdering anyone and I headed straight for the elevator.

I got off on the floor where the restaurant was and took out my cellphone to let Max know I was here, that's when I felt a hand on my shoulder and I just about screamed, "Wow you are jumpy." Said the kind voice of my Uncle Max. I turned around to face him, my hand went immediately to my heart, "Jesus, you scared me."

"I'm sorry, love," he embraced me quickly then took my arms and stepped back to examine me. "You look stunning, Christine. All these guys are going to be jealous of my date."

I shook my head and laughed, "Shall we eat?"

"Actually, Christine they don't have a table available until another half hour. We are welcome to sit at the bar until the table is ready."

"I thought you said we had a reservation at seven?"

I didn't like how he was not looking at me. I was a hundred percent sure that we had said seven.

"Yes, well that's when it was only the two of us." And there it was. Why hadn't he told me that we were being joined? And who would join us? "Let's go sit at the bar, and I will explain everything."

We walked into the restaurant, the hostess who had obviously spoken to my uncle before I arrived showed us to the bar area of the restaurant. Once we were seated she said she would inform us when our table was ready. The bartender was alert and took our drink orders, Max ordered a craft beer and I ordered a glass of champagne which seemed to impress Max, probably more because I am perpetually five years old in his mind. When we received our drinks, Max turned to me and said, "I am sorry that I didn't tell you about our additional guest, but I don't think you would have come if I told you. "

I was nervous now, I felt my stomach drop like I was on a rollercoaster, "And why wouldn't I come?"

"Well I didn't know if you'd appreciate your uncle setting you up." He said quickly before hiding in his glass of beer.

I could feel my eyes getting wider. Setting me up? Like with a man? Oh God, I can't even imagine what kind of person Max could even consider hooking me up with. I swatted his arm, "Max! How could you? Who even is this guy?" I tried keeping my voice down as to not cause a scene but I was furious.

"After I saw you on Monday the client I had after you saw you in the waiting room and demanded an audience with you." I quickly interrupted him.

"So you're allowing some random guy to come to dinner with us, because he thought I was hot?"

"Not some random guy. You two have met before." And now I was even more confused.

I looked at him, wanting him to elaborate. I had met hundreds of people in my eighteen years of life. But before he could continue I saw Max lean out and wave towards where we had entered. Oh no. There was no turning back now. I turned my head and was still confused, I didn't instantly recognize the young man approaching us. He was tall, with dirty blonde hair, crystal blue eyes and bit of scruff on his face. He was dressed really nice, in a tailored suit that showed off his athletic physique. _Well at least he was cute._

He came and hugged my uncle first before the two men gave me their attention, "Christine, you remember Raoul Chagny." And then it all hit me like a ton of bricks.

Before my parents passed away we would spend our summers at the Outer Banks in North Carolina. Each year we would rent a house on the beach and that is where we met the Chagny family. I couldn't believe how much this boy had changed. It had to be at least five years since I had last seen him, our last summer at the beach.

"Oh my goodness, Raoul! It is you!" I flung my arms around his neck and he embraced me too, laughing at my excitement.

"I'm sorry I didn't say hi to you the other day, you left so quickly I had to ask Max here if that was even you." He smiled at me, and my heart instantly melted. "I hope you don't mind that I crashed your dinner."

"Of course not, Raoul. I just can't believe it's you! You've changed so much; I almost didn't recognize you either."

My heart felt warm looking at my dear old friend. When we were kids I had always thought we would be in each other's lives always, but life is funny like that. Since my parents had died there were no more trips to the beach and therefore no more Raoul. I almost wanted to cry thinking about how so many things were impacted by my parent's death. My whole life was changed and I was powerless to do anything about it.

During all of this the hostess came over to inform us that our table was ready. Raoul extended his arm to me and I took it happily. I had always had a crush on him, but now that I saw the man he grew up to be…oh boy.

Max sat across from us, smiling knowingly. I found myself being quite comfortable sharing a lot of laughs with the two remaining men in my life that I considered to be family, negating the fact I wasn't related to either one of them. We had ordered a bottle of Pinot Noir and some charcuterie to share. And everything was delicious.

I forgot how much fun it was to be playful, Raoul teased and picked on me, playfully of course and it was as if we were thirteen and sixteen again. No pressures, just fun and of course that underlying feeling of a crush. Our entrees had arrived and both Raoul and Max were impressed that I liked my meat rare. I had spent a lot of time having over well done pieces of meat dipped in ketchup, and I was done with that way of life.

I didn't want dinner to end, I almost forgot that I needed to text Meg had she not reminded me herself with her text message.

"Who's bothering you?" Raoul leaned over glancing at my phone. "Tell your boyfriend you're occupied." He teased.

"Unfortunately, you cannot compete with the best friend." I elbowed him in the rib, gently of course. "She wanted to meet up so we could ride up to the apartment together."

"You should invite her up for dessert and coffee." A now rather hammered Max slurred. Both Raoul and I turned to each other and laughed. Have I mentioned I loved being wine drunk?

I texted Meg to tell her where I was and invited her to join us for a drink and dessert, which in Christine land meant cheese. I love a good cheese plate for dessert.

I am not too sure about how long it took for Meg to get to us, I was having such a good time with Raoul and Max that time didn't even matter.

What I loved most about Meg was that she knew how to make an entrance. She sauntered in wearing a blue maxi dress with white polka dots with a slit that made its way up to her thigh. In her nude colored wedges, she looked like a runway model walking towards us. My men stood up and shook her hand, which she swatted away in her typical Meg fashion and gave them both hugs and a kiss on the cheek. Raoul moved to the other side of the table so that Meg and I could sit together.

"You look so hot!" I gushed over my best friend.

"Girl, I look homeless compared to you. She's a stunner, am I right guys?" She said turning to them.

The waitress made her way back over to us and offered us dessert menus. I leaned over to Meg hoping she would want to share the cheese plate with me, assuming that she was probably starving after her class. She gave a look as if I needed to even ask her about cheese. This is exactly why we are best friends. She gets me. I started to take a look at their after dinner drinks, their bourbon list was quite impressive but before I could ask the men what they were thinking about having the waitress was already back and ready to take our order.

"What do you say, Raoul? Would you like some bourbon?" Raoul nodded. "We will have two double Hudson Baby Bourbons." Max said handing the menus back to the waitress. I was actually eying that one so I spoke up, "Make it three. And a cheese plate." I handed her my menu and of course Max took the opportunity to embarrass me, "Wow Christine, I didn't take you for a bourbon drinker." To which I flashed him a smile and informed him that there was a lot about me that he didn't know. That comment was more for Raoul, for whatever reason I had become a lot more brazen since I moved to the city. And he was just getting cuter and cuter as the night went on.

Meg had ordered herself a dirty martini before the waitress left to put in our order. She leaned over and whispered in my ear, "He's really hot, Christine. Good job." We started giggling like a bunch of horny school girls.

"What's so funny over there?" Max asked, although I think he caught on to what we were laughing about.

I looked over at Raoul across the table, my vision being slightly impaired, the sun setting and the candle light flickering he was looking better and better. He smiled at me as Meg made small talk with Max. It took everything in me to not push everything off the table and drive my body across it to make out with him. What was going on with me lately? I had never had such a healthy sexual appetite before. I could feel my cheeks getting hot and red.

I tried to stay in engaged in the conversation as our after dinner drinks and cheese plate had been ingested. Raoul had excused himself from the table to use the restroom, which now made it possible for both Meg and Max to embarrass me, "I think Christine is in love," Max slurred.

"He is quite the cutie." Meg laughed.

"Okay, okay!" I exclaimed. "He is really cute and it seems like he's got his life together. Who knows? Maybe he isn't interested in me."

"Are you kidding?" was all that Max could say before Raoul came back to our table.

"We can leave whenever; the bill has been paid." Raoul said nonchalantly.

I couldn't help but feel horrified. I was supposed to be taking Max to dinner and I had fully intended on paying for everyone, "Oh no you didn't. Raoul, that really wasn't necessary." I could feel my voice shake due to how upset I was, but drinking as we had been this evening I was taking this news a little too seriously.

"I think what you mean to say is: Thank you." He winked at me and smiled. His smile got me thinking of Erik. Erik. Oh shit.

Meg and I got home in one piece, thank goodness she showed up otherwise getting home wouldn't have been such an easy venture. I immediately threw off my shoes and clothes, make up off, and pajamas on; life was good.

Meg was on the couch searching through Netflix to find something to watch when I came out of my room in desperate need of some water. "Hey cutie," she said beaming. "Did you have fun tonight?"

I plopped myself down on the couch with a giant sigh, "I had a lot of fun tonight. Raoul is super-hot, smart, nice and I guess basically everything any girl would want in a guy."

"I feel like there is a but coming"

"But, I feel like within a week I have had more love interests than I have ever had in my entire existence!"

"Well, there isn't any pressure," Meg explained. "It's not like you have to settle down and marry anyone after a week."

"That's not the point!" I exclaimed. "I wasn't exactly popular with the boys in high school…"

"Ewww…who even cares? Those guys were losers." She shook her head. "They were probably so intimidated by how hot you are. That's why all these older guys are flocking to you. You're what they call a 'real woman'." She made a gesture with her hands that resembled an hour glass that made the both of us laugh really hard. "In all seriousness, I totally think you are over thinking all of this."

"I guess, I suppose it's because I have never felt these feelings before and now twice in one week I am strongly attracted to two completely different guys; my brain hurts." I said rubbing my temples. Meg laughed and me and headed into the kitchen.

She came back a few seconds later, but not empty handed. "Meg! Where on earth did you get that from?"

"They have shops all over the city, Christine." She rolled her eyes at me, knowing full well I have never done that before. "You said you'd try it when you turned eighteen." She said waving the water bong in front of me.

I had never tried marijuana before, but Meg swore up and down it was greatest thing since sex, which again I have not tried before. I took the bong from her, examining how on earth to even go about using it. She explained the mechanism to me and told me when to inhale and when to let it go.

My first time I coughed up a lung, I thought I was going to throw up my entire dinner it shook up my stomach so bad. But, once I had my second hit I was already on another planet. How had I never smoked before? Me? Miss high-strong! God, I have never ever felt so good and relaxed. We turned on Hulu and looked for some cartoons to watch and everything and I mean everything was hilarious. We couldn't stop laughing. I want this feeling to last forever.

Monday rolled around and I was super excited to start working with Nadir. He had sent me several songs he thought were good for me to sing and I was determined to show him that I am in fact a very hard worker, contrary to what he saw last week.

I entered the studio and Nadir greeted me with a hug, I shouldn't have been surprised by this but my body tensed regardless.

"How was your week?"

"I survived!" I joked. "It's been nice to hit the ground running with my training and everything. I like the schedule I made for myself and what's even better is that if I don't like it I can change it."

"So I wanted to talk to you about something…" Oh no. "Don't worry you're not in trouble." For some reason that didn't make me worry any less.

"Well I had a lot of fun with your girls the other week, in fact I think it was the most fun I have had in the last year. But here's the thing." He paused. I gulped. "I didn't know that you girls are only eighteen. It's not that it's a huge problem, I just like you guys enough to allow you two to be eighteen, and Erik agrees. Does that make sense?"

It did. And it was sweet. I could tell that Nadir was really into Meg, but the idea that he would steal her youth away just when she became independent didn't seem to sit well with him. I guess it also meant that Erik liked me too, but not enough to date me at this point.

I was a little bit relieved, actually. I was worried that I would have to face Erik again, only to find out that he wasn't interested.

We talked a little while longer, Nadir told me that Erik had left the country to work on a musical that he had been writing for years. He teased that if I played my cards right I could be an excellent candidate for his show. Somehow the world seemed to be at peace, I wasn't going to make any big decisions, I can focus on my craft and on myself and hopefully one day I will see my name in lights in that Erik Destler musical.


	5. Chapter 5

3 years later

Erik's POV

I had anticipated this day for a long time now. Everything had come together over the past couple of years. The music and the book had been the easy part, what with the perfect muse motivating me to speed this process along. The obstacles that have taken even more time than I had anticipated was everything else.

The benefits to wearing a mask is that generally people tend not to mess with you. Over the course of my life, as a defense mechanism I learned how to always carry myself as strong and confident. Although, I had run into a misfortunate few who aren't immediately intimidated by me and thus have made the mistake to become aggressive towards me, and as you can imagine that didn't end well for them.

But for the majority of the people I have had communication with they tend to fear and respect me, which of course I do not mind. But in order to put on a Broadway show there are many people one has to converse and have relationships with, that's why my friendship with Nadir is so important. Dubbing him as my musical supervisor/director he has been a valuable asset to have as far as communication with others are concerned.

I am thankful, however that the dark days are over. Years of listening to completely incompetent people screaming their way through my music, having to perform in complete shit-holes that they called theaters, and although the financials were of no concern to me, I wasn't about to invest completely until I had everything the way I wanted it. After all, it would be my way or none at all. But now I had everything I wanted, the perfect theater, the best creative team, and I finally had what I wanted the most: Christine. Well, kind of.

I am not completely naïve. There was no way this show could open with a no-named singer billed as the lead. These days, people only want to see "stars". What a time to be alive. I had secured the largest "star" of today, Carlotta Giudicelli, who had quite the following of tone-deaf admirers. Well to be fair, when she had begun her career the voice was stunning, but she had natural talent and charisma, no technique. This doesn't bode over well with longevity, however the audience loves her and will see anything she is involved with.

Christine will be a part of the chorus, and would be the first replacement for Carlotta, should she fall ill, and there is a sneaky suspicion in me that that is more than likely to happen. I have been planning all of this for a very long time.

Ellen Giry's offices would be emailing the cast today to tell them of their immediate hire and by the end of the weekend we will be thrust into the chaos that is rehearsals, although the only people who needed to learn the show were the ensemble, I had kept the original cast that had opened the show on the West End last summer.

My phone began to rang, "Hello, Nadir."

"How do you always know it is me?"

"You're the only one who calls me." I said flatly.

"Well anyways, the reason I am calling is that my right ear drum burst at the sound of Christine's high-piercing scream on the other end of the phone. She is thrilled to book this show, Erik."

My heart instantly melted at the mention of my sweet Christine's happiness. "I'm glad she is pleased."

"And you, Erik? Are you pleased?"

"Everything is going according to plan, Nadir. Her happiness means everything to me."

"I know," his pause worried me but I made no mention of it. "Erik?"

"Yes?"

"Just…you can't control everything. What I mean is, don't be disappointed if things don't work out the way you want them to." I immediately hung up the phone. How dare he? His doubt was not what I needed to hear. He doesn't know anything. The bond that I have with Christine is stronger than he will ever know, she is drawn to me and I am to her. It should have been obvious that night in the bar three years ago, when I had kissed her and she kissed me back. How that kiss still haunts me. It was selfish on my part, but if we were to be apart for so long I needed something to hold onto, the memory of her kiss, the memory of holding her in my arms. My beautiful Christine.

Christine's POV

Today is the day that I have been working for. Me, Christine Daae has booked my first Broadway show. Words cannot begin to describe how exhilarating it was to receive the news that I had got it. And what was more amazing is that my best friend in the whole world was cast as well. I guess it is true what they say about the business, it is one-part talent and one-part who you know. And since I have been working with Nadir who knows Mr. Erik Destler I was given the privilege of an invited call. Meg didn't seem as nervous about that audition, and for good reason. When she turned twenty-one Nadir asked her out officially and they've been dating ever since. They had put their relationship on pause after that night at the bar, realizing that she was young and needed to experience life and for that she was grateful, but remained technically single all this time. It seemed like it was fate and they were meant to be together. I was so happy for her. As for me and Erik, well he had left the country to work on this show, the one that I was to make my Broadway debut in, so I guess I am grateful too.

But I didn't wait for him. I had nothing to go off other than that kiss we shared. Besides, he was a famous composer now, what would he want with someone like me? He could have any woman he wanted.

My phone buzzed several times indicating a text from Raoul, my boyfriend of now a year. I was skeptical at first about committing myself to any one person. I was focused on this career and I didn't need any distractions. But we were spending all this time together and not seeing anyone else, it all just fell into place. It just seemed to make sense. I have never had a boyfriend before, but it really wasn't all that the movies made it out to be. We would go out to parties or dinner or the occasional movie, but when it came to being physical I had to pull the brakes. Not that I am entirely religious or anything like that, but the idea of giving myself to someone who could easily wake up the next day and leave me left me with a nauseating feeling that I just couldn't deal with. Not to mention that an unplanned pregnancy would completely derail me from my goals. Thankfully he has been understanding of my position, although other things weren't completely off the table.

Meg and I arrived at the New 42nd street studios about a half-hour early for our call time. With Starbucks in hand we were ready to conquer the world. I wanted to get their early to stretch and warm-up my voice, Meg wanted to get there early to say hello to Nadir.

We found Nadir and several others gathered around a table in one of the rehearsal rooms going through thousands of sheets of paper. It was really sweet to see his face light up when she entered the room with a coffee just for him. I wasn't necessarily jealous per se, but it would be nice if Raoul was occasionally romantic. I always felt bad complaining about him, even if I never complained out loud.

After saying hello and introducing myself to the others who were various members of the creative team and their assistants I decided to excuse myself to find a room where I could do what I wanted to do, which was stretch and warm-up. I walked to the end of the hall and found one of the smaller rooms were open and I didn't need a lot of space anyways. I plugged my phone into the aux cord that connected to the speakers in the room. Ed Sheeran's "Shape of You" began to play and I was instantly amped up. It's crazy how music can instantly change your mood. And soon my stretching turned into my own choreographed "across the floor" routine. I loved to dance, it was another kind of freedom that made me feel like I could do anything.

Erik's POV

It is Monday fucking morning and the last thing I want to hear is the blaring of abhorrent pop music. I haven't been the building for five minutes and I was already annoyed. If it weren't the first day of rehearsal I would have made some excuse to let Nadir just take over, I hate dealing with people and this kind of shit wasn't helping with my utter disdain. I headed down the hall towards where the music was coming from and finally found the source. I flung the door open, with the intention to yell at whatever bone-head decided it was a good idea to be blasting music at this time of day, but my entire body tensed and calmed down when seeing who exactly the bone-head was.

I almost didn't recognize her, her once chestnut curls were now jet black and straight. She was thinner, not that she was overweight before, but with her figure being this thin almost made her look ill. She was still curvaceous, that was for certain, her body looked particularly amazing in her black leotard and Under Armour shorts. What was she trying to do? Give me a heart attack?

I felt ridiculous standing in the doorway, watching her lost in her perfectly timed movements to the stupid song she was listening to, I had to make a decision. I could reveal myself to her now, mask and all. Or I could escape and she would never know I was here. She has yet to see me with my regular white mask, but I am sure she has heard the rumors of the masked composer. My God, she is so beautiful, but the song was dwindling and I had to make a choice. I ran. It wasn't the right time, she was so vulnerable and not on Earth with me. Soon though, soon.

Maybe sooner than I had expected. Everyone gathered in the large studio sitting in their designated sections to sing through the music. Nadir stood up and everyone applauded, "Welcome everyone! It is with great pleasure that I welcome you all to the Don Juan team. We have a very special guest here today, our fearless leader and composer, Mr. Erik Destler."

Why he insisted on embarrassing me I would never know, nevertheless everyone stood and applauded me as well, and for the most part it seemed genuine. It was as if people truly respected me and my work, and for that I am grateful. But there was only one person in the room whose respect and admiration I desired over all others. "Please be seated," and within an second they all sat, their eyes all gazing on me, awaiting what words of wisdom I would share with them. "You were all selected to be a part of this production based on your individual talents, however it is those talents united that will make this production unbeatable. I have very high expectations for everyone, no part too big or small will go unnoticed by me and although you have been chosen for this opportunity, it can be easily taken away as well." There was an audible gulp that came from the crowd. I could feel everyone's uneasiness, which suited me fine, I wasn't here for friendships, I needed this show to be successful.

I felt Nadir interject, fearing that I would cause more upset to our cast. "You heard the man, we demand your one-hundred percent or you can see your way out the door." His tone seemed friendly enough that the tension was gone.

I had to say that Nadir was going above and beyond in his role, he had everything organized so that no time was to be wasted. He separated the groups so that the chorus could learn their music and choreography, while the principals were to re-block most of their scenes. Some of the scenic differences in the Broadway production meant there would be some minor changes that I hoped would be sorted out quickly.

I watched as the women filed out of the room to learn their choreography; all of them were beautiful but they didn't compare to Christine. It was hard not to stare at her, a man could get lost looking at her. How her eyes light up when she smiles and the feeling that you are the only one who matters when she listens to anyone speak. She truly was an angel.

She left with the other girls to learn her chorus track, although I would much rather her in the room over Carlotta. The role was so wrong for her, and it was obvious, but yet here we were listening to her butcher any semblance of a melody with her arrogance.

All in all, the first rehearsal with the new cast was going very well, over the course of the day we had everyone back together and running through the show, when I said I wanted the best cast in New York City I certainly got what I wanted.

It was the end of the first act when Nadir stood up and with genuine tears in his eyes said, "You guys are fantastic, and this is only day one! Thank you all for being so prepared and easy to work with. We will work through act two tomorrow, but for this last half hour I want to keep the principals and their covers to go over some blocking so that the understudy rehearsal on Thursday will be as quick as it was today. The rest of you are dismissed, everyone else take ten."

Then a feeling that I hated overcame me when I saw Nadir embrace his girlfriend, Meg. I wanted what they had and I wanted it with Christine. She was so close yet so far from being that to me. Fortunately, where there is Meg there is Christine. I saw her also embrace Nadir, no doubt she is filled with joy, doing what she is meant to do. It made my heart swell that I could give her this gift that she has worked so hard for. Her happiness means everything to me.

"Are you going to say "hi" to these lovely ladies?" Nadir said in my direction. I was brought back to Earth to see the smiling faces of Christine and Meg.

"Nadir, you don't interrupt a genius in deep thought." Meg laughed and playfully punched Nadir in the arm. I caught a glimpse of Christine who shook her head at her friend's wildly out going nature.

"Are you pleased with how everything is going?" Meg returned her attention to me.

"More than pleased. It's outstanding that everyone is as prepared as they are."

"Well the email memo we got was enough to get a fire lit under everyone's ass." To which Nadir returned the playful punch back to her.

"What email memo, Nadir?" feigning anger.

"Well I told them to come prepared or not at all." It was so obvious when he was lying. I didn't mind it though; I had always said that fear is a pretty good route to go when you want people to do what you want.

"Whatever, I am going to get changed so when you're done we can go to dinner? Christine, you want to come?"

All attention came to the raven-haired girl who had remained rather quiet during this whole exchange. "It's Monday," She said plainly, staring directly into her eyes; it was as if Nadir and I were not there.

"Oh," Meg said, completely dropping the matter as if Christine's response was sufficient, but it left both of us men completely confused.

I wouldn't get to find out what Monday meant for the principle cast came back into the studio to run the remainder of the rehearsal.

It was almost painful to watch Carlotta in this role that I had written specifically for Christine. I had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't going to be the case for much longer. The only joy I could find in the current moment was watching Christine laying on her stomach with her notebook in front of her, her eyes were wide and excited, her mouth would gape in awe and amazement and periodically she would jot down what I could only assume to be specific notes and blocking. She was absolutely stunning without even realizing it. I really couldn't give a damn about the subpar performance in front of me when at long last I finally had my angel.


	6. Chapter 6

Trigger Warning: Drug and Alcohol use.

Christine's POV

Fortunately, I had amazing train karma and made it back to my apartment in under twenty-minutes, which for New York City subway systems is a God send that I for one do not take for granted. Once I got into the apartment I headed straight to the bathroom to take a much needed and much deserved hot shower. I had about an hour to get myself together for my weekly date night with Raoul. We had made the decision to keep one night a week open to see each other, if there happened to be other nights we were free, which generally there are we take the opportunity to see each other but Monday nights are always for us.

Once I was showered, deodorized and perfumed I went to pick out a cute little number to go see my man in. I decided on a matching palazzo and crop top set and a pair of wedges to add some height to my overly flowy pants.

I heard my phone go off and go figure it was Raoul, "Hey baby," I answered

"Hi honey, how was your day?" he sounded so sweet, it made me smile.

"It was amazing! I am just about done here at the apartment. Where do you want me to meet you?"

"Well, actually tonight all the guys are going out for Mike's birthday and I was wondering if you wouldn't mind going to that for a little then we can grab dinner."

It took all of me to not audibly sigh. I really didn't care for Raoul's friend Mike; he was what you would call a major douchebag. Then the idea struck me, "Raoul, if you want to go to your friend's birthday I really don't need to be there. Please go and have fun we can have dinner another night."

"Are you sure? This is our night; I don't have to go."

"No, really I insist! Besides I would rather have you all to myself!"

"Christine, you are the best! I'll miss you tonight."

"I'll miss you too, let me know when is good for you. I am pretty much done at the same time every day so my evenings are generally free."

"Amazing! Maybe we can even do tomorrow night?"

"Let me know."

"Of course, I love you."

"Love you too, Raoul."

Since I am all dressed up and ready to eat a horse I immediately dialed Meg to take her up on her earlier offer of going out with her and Nadir.

"Everything ok?" Meg answered the phone, her voice sounded concerned, which made me laugh.

"Everything is great. Change of plans for tonight, can I still join you guys?"

"Of course you can!" She squealed into the phone. "Hold on, one second." I heard her say something to someone off the phone who I would only assume was Nadir before I heard some rustling around. "Hey, yea we are going to Bar Sixty-Five, the fabulous Mr. Erik Destler got us our own private area on the balcony so you just need to tell the hostess you're one of us." She laughed.

I gulped, "Wait, Mr. Destler is going to be there?"

"Yeah, is that a problem?" I could hear the smugness in her tone.

"No, not at all." I said brushing my hair behind my ear. I walked into the bathroom to get one final look at myself and apply some of my crème liquid lipstick.

"Good, don't be a pussy. Oh and since your home can you grab some "candy" out of the medicine cabinet?" She laughed insidiously.

I opened the cabinet and found the plastic bag filled with different colored tablets, each of them had their own individual markings on them, ranging from flowers and butterflies to happy faces, _no wonder they nicknamed it candy._

"Got it! Anything else, love of my life?" I cooed into the phone, giggling all the while.

"Nope, get that sexy ass of yours down here now."

And with that I was out the door and on my way to see Meg, Nadir and oddly enough Mr. Destler.

I got a seat on the subway and began to think of that first night when Meg and I first met Nadir and his mysterious friend. To this day I was unable to shake off the feelings he inspired in me. Never have I been more attracted to another person, and it wasn't just about his looks, he had an air about him; it commanded your attention and adoration. I would never forget the way he looked at me, he had done it again today when we spoke briefly; it was like my body was on fire and I was going to melt under his gaze. It was as if I was the only woman in the world. But even the way he looked at me hold nothing over the way he kissed me. He sought me out and kissed me properly after Meg had made us put on a show for her. He wanted me, or so I thought. But that was stupid, he could have any woman he wanted, he couldn't possibly want someone like me.

I began to laugh at myself softly, here I am still having a reaction to a three-year-old crush when I had a boyfriend and my life was finally shaping up to what I wanted it to be. I started to feel bad that I was thinking about Mr. Destler in every other sense than professional, after all if the roles were reversed and Raoul had a crush on his employer, well let's just say that wouldn't end terribly well for either party. Although, I had to examine the emotion I felt when Raoul and I ended up cancelling our date. I was actually relieved, oh how I hated to admit it, but I was actually so happy that I was seeing my friends over my boyfriend, I was thrilled that he would go off and do God-knows-what with his idiot friends while I sipped on champagne on a balcony high above the New York City streets. I love Raoul, I truly do, he has been such an influential part of my life, reconnecting after all these years and now we have a romantic relationship. He gets my schedule, he respects my boundaries and we do have a lot of fun together. He is my first boyfriend, the first man who looked at me and said, "she's the one, I want her." After going through life not being noticed by anyone, I got the sense that no man would really want me. I was lucky to have someone like Raoul. But, I just couldn't get _him_ off my mind.

I was grateful that Meg had suggested bringing the tablets, I needed all the confidence and courage I could get. I texted Meg to let her know I was there, she told me she would meet me up front where the hostess was.

Meg was truly a goddess, she wore a light blue haltered sundress and worked the room like it was a runway. Her legs were super long and in her gladiator styled heel, all I could do was shake my head as she approached me.

"Don't you give me that look," she stopped me right there. "You look fucking incredible, I might have to come up with some excuse as to why we have to go back home." She winked at me, knowing full well that what she meant by that all I could do was laugh.

She intertwined our fingers together as we walked hand in hand to the bathroom. I had to say, all things considering, that I looked pretty damn hot, the perfect amount of cleavage and finally I was happy showing off my midriff. I was very caught up checking myself out in the mirror, which of course Meg had to call me out on.

"Okay, stop staring at yourself!" She giggled coming up behind me and wrapping her arms around my waist, her head resting on my shoulder. "Let's do this quick so they don't wonder too much." She kissed my neck, the bitch knew that was one of my weaknesses.

I pulled the tablets out of my purse, Meg took them and began to smash two of them; right before my eyes the substance was now powder, we took our rolled up dollar bills and snorted the carefully constructed lines. I felt it immediately. My anxiety had gone away and all I felt was an undeniable happiness. That instant rush was all encompassing. I took some of the powder and lined my gums with the rest of it, the tingling sensation caused me to giggle alongside my best friend.

I took a complete tablet and dry swallowed it, knowing that the instant high I felt would come down as quickly as it came. Meg followed suit.

"By the way, Erik is looking super fine tonight," She said sniffling. "He seemed more than excited when I said you were coming."

"Meg, come on," fixing my lipstick in the mirror. "What would Erik Destler want with me?"

She gave me a look that secured my suspicion, "Yeah well my own boyfriend doesn't get any, what makes you think I'd give it up to a total stranger?" I started to sniffle myself.

"Speaking of your boyfriend, what happened to him tonight?" She asked while reapplying her lipstick.

"Change of plans, it's Mike's birthday tonight so it was going to be a bunch of dudes and me. I said I'll pass." I laughed. Meg didn't look amused at all. At the sound of Mike's name, she began to roll her eyes. Initially when I had started seeing Raoul, before we were official we would spend a lot of time together the three of us, so naturally Raoul thought it would be a good idea to set my best friend up with his best friend. Needless to say it didn't go well. Those two hated each other something fierce.

"Well, I'm glad you're here." She squeezed my hand. "Shall we go?"

"Just a moment," I stopped her right in her tracks. "Meg, you need to promise me that you won't embarrass me in front of him." She was about to speak but I stopped her again. "Meg, I am so serious. I am in a relationship with Raoul, I do not need you to encourage me to do something I will regret. I am feeling really good right now, so please promise me you won't do that thing you like to do."

Now her response was the polar opposite than what I had expected, "I really don't understand why you are wasting your time with that loser. He isn't nice to you, he doesn't treat you well and I cannot fucking stand him or his loser friends." I literally couldn't believe she was saying this right now. My eyes were widening both out of shock and the drugs. "It's like they say," she continued. "You hang out with four losers you become the fifth loser. All he does is get wasted and fucked up every night and it's not cute anymore."

That comment made me crack up, "And what exactly are we about to do right now?"

She rolled her fucking eyes at me and I just about lost it, "You know what, Meg? You're a fucking hypocrite. You have such harsh judgments on Raoul when meanwhile we are in the bathroom of a pretty fancy establishment doing lines of Ecstasy and are about to drink ourselves silly. Guess what, sweetheart? We are no better than the 'losers' you don't want anything to do with." I was so heated, she really had to go there and she expected me to take it.

"Woah, Christine, calm down."

"No Meg, I won't fucking calm down. I would NEVER allow ANYONE let alone Raoul say ANYTHING nasty about you. Why on Earth would I allow you to call someone I care about a loser? I would NEVER let him say that about you. And guess what he doesn't talk about you, I have no idea if he has negative feelings towards you cause guess what, he doesn't say anything about you to me."

"Christine! I am sorry!" She yelled over me. Grabbing my hands and making me stare directly at her face. "I am sorry. You're absolutely right, I crossed a line and I shouldn't have called him names. I will say however, that I think the world of you and I think there is someone out there, maybe at the table we are going to," that made me laugh. "Who will treat you the way I think you should be treated. That is all I am going to say because I am starting to taste colors." And with that we both began hysterically laughing.

I had no idea why I got so angry, I had said that I couldn't take hearing someone talk shit about someone I cared about, but Meg was harmless and I knew that. I guess I was angrier with myself then with her, I felt guilty that I was happy to be with her rather than my boyfriend. My boyfriend who she called a loser. I am a loser.

We hugged it out before heading out to where the men were. I approached a little more sheepishly then I wanted to but I didn't want to appear as "excited" as I felt. Both of them stood up to great us, which melted my heart seeing that men still had manners. And to boot both men kissed my cheeks in a true European fashion. And of course my seat was conveniently next to Mr. Destler and Meg. I side-eyes my friend as she mouthed "oops" to me. Rolling my eyes, I took my spot.

"Stand back up!" Nadir demanded. My eyes widened as I did what I was told smoothing out my pants and stretching my arms out in presentation. "Look at you, skinny Minnie! You look amazing!"

Shaking my head and sitting back down, Nadir and Meg were perfect for each other, clearly since they both had a habit of embarrassing me. I caught Mr. Destler turning away suddenly, as if he didn't want me to know that he too was checking me out. I couldn't help but blush, my whole body felt like it was on fire and I knew it was because of his gaze.

I felt myself melting into my seat as everyone began talking to each other. Mr. Destler was kind enough to pour me a glass of Cristal champagne and we all toasted to a successful first day of rehearsal, I made sure to make eye-contact with everyone, no kissing tonight. I found my mind wandering as everyone continued to chat. I couldn't get over our surroundings, we were on top of the world, lounging out on a beautiful New York City summer night on our own private section of an already exclusive patio and I am appearing in the premier show on Broadway. The sky was in hues of pinks, purples and oranges. If you had asked me three-years ago what my life would be like, I would have never even dreamt of this. I must have been super lost in my thoughts because I hadn't even realized a waitress had approached our table.

"Earth to Christine, do you want to order anything to eat." I looked down at the menu that made its way in front of me, scanning it quickly I smiled at the waitress, "Hi, yea can I start with the tuna tartare."

Clearly this appeased the waitress and she moved on from me to the masked man on my right, "If you want the tartare I was going to order the seafood tower, if that is something you are interested in," he said to me pointing at the item on the menu that included East Coast oysters, clams, jumbo shrimp, lobster, crab cocktail and the chef's selection of tartare's. My eyes were wide at his offer; Raoul wasn't into seafood and it was a rare occasion if Meg and I splurged on any seafood that wasn't sushi. I must have looked as excited as I felt, for Mr. Destler actually chuckled at my reaction and ordered said seafood tower while Meg and Nadir ordered a cheese and charcuterie plate understanding that we would be sharing a lot of food.

Mr. Destler's phone went off and he excused himself from the table and walked off to take his phone call, which became the perfect opportunity for the happy couple to torment me.

"So Christine," Nadir started with me.

"Watch it." I said sternly, so of course we all broke and laughed.

"What? You're the one who ruined the double date!"

I picked up my glass and began shaking my head, "We can double date any time you like."

I caught Meg rolling her eyes again, I decided to let it go; I knew what she thought and she wasn't going to change her position any time soon.

"I have a feeling that after a few drinks you will forget you have a boyfriend." Nadir teased, I knew that he didn't have any idea about what happened in the women's bathroom earlier, but now I felt like I was being ganged up on. But that heat that formed in my stomach distracted me from Nadir's taunting.

I couldn't deny it, I was attracted to Erik Destler and my judgement was beginning to become impaired. I wanted to feel his hands on me, I wanted his lips on mine, I wanted to live in a world where it was just the two of us and nothing else existed. I wanted to feel bad that my body didn't respond this way towards Raoul, but I couldn't even muster up a pleasant thought of him. I hated to admit it, but Meg was right. I could have been out drinking Miller Lite and eating buffalo wings with Raoul and his bro-type buddies, but instead I am here loving my life drinking high-end champagne and eating oysters.

But the problem remained; he couldn't be interested in me, could he?

He sat back down and apologized for having to take the call, God I could listen to him talk all day. I leaned back in my seat, his arm draped over the back miming Nadir on the other end of the table. He was leaning in in front of me talking to him, I turned my head slightly to make eye contact with Meg; it was like she just knew. And I loved her for that.

"I'm bored by this conversation!" Meg declared in her most dramatic flair.

"My deepest apologies, Ms. Giry," came that beautiful, albeit sarcastic voice. "Pray tell what would you suggest we do to rectify the situation?" Glad to see their rivalry was still aflame.

"Well, I for one think we should all get to know each other a little better. And what better way than to play a game of 'Never Have I Ever'."

But what I didn't expect was Erik's utter confusion over what she had meant, "Oh, have I finally stumped you?" She asked feigning innocence. "Well, here are the rules: all five fingers are up and everyone goes around and says something that they have never done and if you have done it you put down one finger until finally someone loses all five fingers." This seemed to really perk his interest.

"Ok, Ms. Giry, and if someone was to lose all five fingers what happens next?"

"Well, usually this is played as a drinking game, so you decide what happens to the unfortunate soul who loses all five fingers." Batting her eyelashes. She was so good at teasing; I could actually see Nadir physically gulp.

"I think the first one who loses all five fingers should have to do a shot of Aquavit." He said daringly. At that remark all of us shuddered, for Aquavit was not even a remotely delicious spirit, but it was sure to mess you up.

All of us had our fingers raised and we decided to start with Meg Then Nadir then Erik then me until one of us had lost.

"Never have I ever: dyed my hair." The bitch looked directly at me and I knew she was here to play dirty. One finger down for me.

"Never have I ever: kissed a man." Two fingers down for me, one for Meg.

"Never have I ever: went to college." His eye-brow raised at Nadir who grunted and put down one finger.

It was my turn, "Never have I ever: driven a car." Everyone's finger went down. Two for Meg, two for Nadir and one for Erik.

Meg looked very devious right now, "Never have I ever: had a penis." Both men were very upset about this, but since there were no rules about body parts they reluctantly put down another finger.

"Well, I am not going to cheat like my beautiful girlfriend here and say that never have I ever: drank alcohol before turning the legal age." Knowing full-well that both of us girls were guilty we put our fingers down without a fight, even Erik had to put down his finger. Three for Meg, three for Nadir two for Erik, and three for me.

"Oh I have a good one! Never have I ever had sex with Nadir." Erik laughed, rather obnoxiously at Meg.

"You're an ass!" Meg pouted as she put down a fourth finger.

But before I had a chance to think about what I was going to say next it just came out of my mouth like word vomit, "NEVER HAVE I EVER: HAD SEX! DRINK BITCH!"

You could hear a pin drop. I quickly covered my mouth with my hand and just started violently laughing completely accepting that I had just said that. But with that statement everyone had to put down their finger, leaving Meg to be the loser of this game.

Just when I thought that would be that of course Nadir had to fact-check me, "Wait, you've never had sex?"

"It's true," Meg confirmed, glaring at me for making her lose the game to Erik, and having to take a shot of glorified rubbing alcohol. "Christine Daae is a virgin who can't drive." Meg said, quoting the famous line from _Clueless_ , doing her best Brittany Murphy impression.

"Come on, you're just fucking around right?" I honestly couldn't tell if he was putting it on or if he truly thought I was lying.

"Why are you so hung up on her virginity?" Meg laughed at her boyfriend who was absolutely baffled by the whole concept of me being a virgin.

He looked at Meg for what seemed to be an eternity truly asking himself why in fact he was so emotionally invested in my being a virgin, "I guess I just assumed that she wasn't." Thank goodness the wait staff was coming over with the food. I could feel the drugs starting to really peak and I needed another drink. As if reading my mind, Erik was pouring me another glass of champagne. I placed my cheek in my palm and gazed as Erik began making up a plate of all the amazing things we had ordered, it was the most beautiful thing my brain had ever conceived, I was on cloud nine and nothing could bring me down. I found myself just sitting there whispering and giggling with Meg as the men talked about the show and various other topics that I truly wasn't paying attention to.

I found that everything felt amazing, I was just sinking into where I was sitting. I found myself petting Megs hand and her hair and just laughing about how ridiculous it all was. The food was amazing and drinks were making me feel bubbly and warm. I felt myself becoming so much more comfortable and at ease with where I was and who I was with. It seemed like Erik and I were sitting even closer together, oh how I wanted a reason to touch him.

I found myself to be a little more daring when it came to interacting with Erik, I made myself out to be a little more helpless than I actually was. I had him pour me glasses upon glasses of champagne, make me up a plate of the delicious seafood we were sharing and genuinely leaned in and listened to him explain the difference between East and West coast oysters. Have I mentioned that I could listen to him speak all day?

It must have been around ten o'clock when I felt my phone vibrating over and over, I wanted to ignore it but that blasted buzzing wasn't going to let me ignore it. I glanced down to see that it was Raoul sending me one hundred drunk texts, all I wanted to do was shut my phone off. I saw Meg lean over my shoulder to see who was bothering me, I met her gaze and gave her a knowing smile. She just shook her head at me. The men decided to walk over to another section of the patio to smoke a cigar, leaving us girls alone.

"So what does _he_ want?" Meg asked, I wasn't in the mood to fight her anymore, considering I was starting to agree with her.

"He is asking where I am, that he loves me and that he wishes he could do things to me. You know the usual." I laughed taking another sip.

"I think he would have a brain aneurism if he found out what you were doing tonight." She was right, Raoul was incredibly jealous and when he was drinking he was almost unbearable. If a guy so much has breathed in my direction Raoul would pounce on the guy with accusations and threats to kick their ass, it was embarrassing but I always found myself believing it was because he loved me and it was so kind of romantic gesture.

"Chris?" I heard Meg say, shaking me from my thoughts. "I know I said I'd drop it, but he isn't a good guy." I saw her reach for her phone, my heart sank into my stomach when I saw what she had to show me. It was clearly Raoul kissing another girl at some seedy bar. I grabbed the phone from her hands and stared at it more intensely. I could not believe what I was seeing. I was going to be sick. "I am so sorry, Chris. I didn't want to come to you until I had all my information together. Irrefutable evidence that he hasn't been faithful to you. I had heard so many people say it but no one could ever prove it until tonight."

I just continued to stare at the picture. I was on fucking fire. I know a normal response to this kind of thing would be to get upset and go crazy, but all I good manage to do was laugh. I started laughing so hard that Meg couldn't help but start laughing too.

Now the moments after this were completely blurry and not exactly clear. It all came in flashes. The guys were back at the table, I drank more, I found myself dancing on the side of the patio where the other attendees of the restaurant were. I was dancing with Erik; it was so hot. I needed water. I am sure we got me some. How much time passed?

I was in a car and everyone was talking to me normally so I guess I wasn't appearing as messed up as I felt; so I guess that was a good thing. The next thing I knew I was in this huge and opulent pent house apartment with Meg, Nadir and of course Erik. He was beside me the entire time, he felt safe.

I was splashing some water on my face in the bathroom as well as chugging the bottle that I had somehow obtained. I think I was coming down from the worst of the high, which was good. I finally looked at my phone, there were at least ten missed calls and whole lot of "where are you?" texts from Raoul. I cleared the notifications and went back to see my friends. Meg and Nadir were sitting on a loveseat sparking up a bowl of weed. I saw Erik in the kitchen that was separated by a giant cut-out window; I went to him.

His back was to me; I followed my gut reaction and wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my cheek against his back. But not for long, he turned around and placed his hands on either side of my face, tilting my head up to meet his longing stare. I smiled at him, and daringly I stood on my tippy-toes and placed the softest of kisses on his jaw. God he was super tall compared to me. "How are you doing?"

"I think I could stand some more water." I laughed.

"Stop making out and get in here!" I heard Meg scream at us. I started to laugh again and make my way back over to the living room. Meg handed me the bowl and I took it willingly, this would mean that I would actually get some kind of sleep before rehearsal tomorrow. I lounged on the other couch adjacent to where Meg and Nadir was, leaning on the arm rest I created some the best smoke rings in my life; my two audience members enthralled. Erik finally came out with a giant glass of water for me. He was next to me again, I handed him the bowl and he took it. As he inhaled he grabbed my face and placed his mouth near mine exhaling the smoke into my now open mouth, I inhaled in back and to my surprise I exhaled a great deal of smoke.

I always enjoyed smoking weed over most other drugs, it made me happy it made me relaxed and for someone who is guilty of always being in her head this was everything I needed.

I found myself melting into both Erik and the couch, we were watching some different things on the TV, occasionally stealing a kiss or two, after all Meg and Nadir were still there and I didn't want to give them a show. But it was nice, it felt natural to kiss him but just a peck here or there. I knew that if it was any more than that I would have lost myself completely. He was just so gentle and protective; I had never felt more comfortable with any one. I hated that my mind went back to Raoul, but he was truly the only basis of comparison that I had. The image of him kissing that girl still haunted me, I didn't deserve to be humiliated like that, especially since I knew what that was all about.

Meg had fallen asleep and I was about to follow in her footsteps. Erik and Nadir had spoken to each other before he took Meg and I was all alone in the apartment, falling in and out of sleep on the couch. I remember being in his arms and he was carrying me into another room; a bedroom. Normally I don't think I would have been so calm, but there wasn't an ounce of anything shady in his intentions that I just curled closer into his chest. I didn't really have a chance to admire the room, in fact I don't even really recall being put down. But I do remember his kindness, I remember feeling safe and I remember the blackness that finally overtook me into a deep sleep.

GothicLolitaxo: Hi Everyone, just want to make a few things clear. In real life mixing ecstasy and alcohol can be fatal and super dangerous. This story may be "glamourizing" drugs and binge drinking but this is fiction and it does suit a purpose to further my story along. I love hearing if you guys are enjoying the story. I'm so excited for what is to come in the next few chapters.

Please review if you have a moment it really helps get chapters done more quickly.


	7. Chapter 7

Warning: Themes of suicide and depression in this chapter.

Christine's POV

The sun was streaming in through the window and directly on my face. Irritated, I scrunched my face and pulled the sheet over my head. It took an embarrassingly long amount of time to come to the realization that I was not in my bed. Horrified, I ripped the covers off me and sat up on the bed to take in my surroundings. The room was like a hotel room; no personal touches just a room with a queen sized bed, a dresser, night stand, closet and en suite. Thank goodness, I did not have to leave the room to use the bathroom; I did not want to run the risk of Erik seeing me before I was ready. I rushed into the bathroom to see a surprisingly clean face; thank goodness I had smoked last night, it usually helps me sleep soundly and keeps me from experiencing the hangover room hell. It was evident that no one had been in this bathroom before, everything in it was wrapped in the plastic or the boxes that they came in. For whatever reason this was relieving to me, maybe because it meant that he didn't have company over often. More importantly he didn't have other women over. I unwrapped the tooth brush and unboxed the tooth paste and went to work on curing my morning breath. It suddenly dawned on me that I wasn't wearing my clothes anymore, instead I was wearing a satin pajama set that was three times my size. I kept yanking the pants over my belly button, until I decided to double knot the drawstring to keep them over my hips. The top was over sized too, and had buttons down the front. They were really comfortable, despite being too big.

I came back into the bedroom and to the nightstand where my cellphone was sitting, taunting me. My heart filled with dread as I went into my message inbox and clicked on Raoul's name. After sending him the picture that Meg had showed me, followed with a text message saying "we are done" I had not looked at my phone since. My horror soon turned into annoyance as I read paragraph after paragraph of the belligerent rantings of my now ex-boyfriend. It started rather hostile, with him trying to deny it but as he was continuously ignored he changed his tune and began begging for my forgiveness, weaving stories about how he was drunk and he had made a mistake, then turned into how it was my fault since I denied him intimacy that he needed to find it elsewhere. I felt my blood boil over the insinuation that because I don't have sex with him that that was good enough reason to cheat on me. It made me even angrier that the picture I had was of him kissing a girl at a bar, him bringing up that I deny him sex would lead me to the conclusion that it wasn't just a kiss. There were some voicemails too; I did not even bother listening to them, I knew that they were probably the slurred version of what he had tried to type in a text. I was so angry I dialed Meg immediately, "Are you awake?" I said not being able to contain my anger.

"Yeah, we are actually about to head upstairs to see you guys. What's up?" She sounded concerned.

"I finally got around to seeing Raoul's response to my ending the relationship." But before I could continue she cut me off.

"Ouch. What did he say?"

"Well, you know he was clearly drunk as a skunk last night so he sent me a bunch of barely coherent texts starting with how that picture was from before we had become official-"

"That's funny, because it was actually time stamped from last night."

"I know, so I guess since I wasn't responding he back tracked and started to apologize and was saying that he was drunk and it was a mistake and then my favorite part about the whole thing was him telling me that if perhaps I paid attention to him this wouldn't have happened." I felt like I had said that all in one breath.

"Wow. I'm really sorry, Christine. That's actually a really fucked up thing to say to you."

"You think?" I let out an exasperated sigh and threw myself across the bed. "Is oral sex not sex?" This was a serious question that was met with hysterical laughing.

"That's right! Blowjobs are A-Okay with you but fucking is completely out of the question!"

I rolled my eyes, I call her for emotional support and she's laughing at my sexual résumé. "You know I am not a virgin because Jesus tells me so."

"I know; I just think it's hilarious that you would rather give than receive."

"Can we please stay on topic? What do I do about Raoul?"

I heard Nadir's voice in the back-round getting irritated that we were on the phone when they were going to see us in a few minutes if she would only get herself together.

"We can talk about it when I get there, Nadir is going to kill me if we don't get a move on."

We hung up and I only felt slightly relived having told her what was going on. I needed to make a decision to make no decision at all. I did not owe him a response right away; for all he knew I was still pissed and there wasn't a time limit on being pissed off that your boyfriend cheated on you.

I couldn't help but feel bad for one thing though and that was Erik. I doubt he knew, unless Meg or Nadir had mentioned that I had a boyfriend, but the last thing that I wanted him to think was that he was my rebound, or worse if I was just drunk and coming onto him. It was hard to really think about any of this while I am locked in his guest room so I decided to go and seek him out.

He was a pretty easy man to find, for once I was out of my room I could hear him playing the piano in the living room. I came to a standstill in the door way, his back was to me and he was moving so fluidly along with the music. It was one of the most beautiful melodies I had ever heard, I leaned against the door frame, my knees were buckling beneath me. Since when did piano playing turn me on? I had to remind myself it was because it was Erik who was playing the piano. It didn't occur to me that he had stopped playing until he had turned around to address me, "Good morning, gorgeous," I felt my heart drop, his sudden attention spooked me. "Do you want some coffee? I just made it." All I could do was nod my head like an idiot. He stood up from his place at the piano, he was magnificently tall and well built, I might add. He strode over into the kitchen and I followed behind him, sitting myself down on a stool at the kitchen's island.

He poured us both a cup of coffee and presented it to me. I thanked him and took a sip, savoring the life-giver that is coffee, I must have made a face of great satisfaction to deserve the deep laugh I received from Erik. I liked it when he laughed, it was like music.

"Did you sleep well?" he inquired, having sipped on some of the coffee himself.

"Very well, it was nice to wake to the sound of birds chirping instead of rush hour traffic." I laughed. It was pretty obvious to me that Erik wasn't used to laughing and joking with people, based on the way that he simply couldn't help but to join me even when his face twitched with resistance about smiling. He had a great smile, I wondered why he wouldn't do it more often. I reached across the island to take hold of his free hand, I felt him jump a little at my contact but he eased up after realizing that I was simply holding his hand, "I really want to thank you for being so kind to me last night. I feel so embarrassed if I got out of control, to be honest there was a chunk of time that is a little blurry to me, so if I did or said anything to offend you I am truly sorry." I felt my cheeks getting hot as I rambled, he must have thought I was so stupid.

He released my hand and walked around the island to stand in front of me, placed his hand so delicately on my cheek, I couldn't resist resting against it, "Christine, there is no need to apologize for anything. You didn't do anything wrong, if anything you were having a bit too much fun while we were all dancing and I didn't want you to exhaust yourself, that's when I suggested coming back here to relax and you were fine in the car ride home and for the rest of the evening." His tone was so soothing I could have fallen asleep in the palm of his hand. "Christine?" all I could utter was a "hmmm" sound. "May I kiss you?' My eyes fluttered open, my lips parted and I nodded my head, I felt like I was in a dream. He leaned down and placed the gentlest and chaste of kisses on my lips. Unsatisfied, I held him there; I did not brush my teeth this morning for nothing. I deepened the kiss, moving my lips against him. Wrapping my arms around his neck, I brought him even closer to me. His hands had moved from my cheek to my waist, holding me firmly against him. It was one of the most romantic kisses I had ever received, it had passion but it didn't have expectations, although I did suspect that had we continued there would be little resistance from either of us. It was the sound of the doorbell that made us immediately stop. Erik left me sitting on the stool, still in awe about what had just happened. I couldn't believe how comfortable I was kissing another man after just breaking up with Raoul. Do I tell Erik about happened? Does any of it even matter?

Meg, Nadir and the caterer arrived in tow with an array of breakfast musts such as bagels, smoked salmon, cream cheese, strawberries and whipped cream. They were set up rather charmingly back in the kitchen.

Meg dragged me back into the room that I slept in while Nadir and Erik headed back into the kitchen to start making us mimosas.

"Let me see your phone," I handed it over willingly. Meg examined the messages that I received and didn't make a point to hide the disgusted look on her face. I could tell she was really pondering her response because this was the first time in a long time that Meg was quiet. She finally shook her head and handed me the phone, "I don't even know what to say."

I looked at the chat thread between Raoul and I, there was a part of me that was devastated by this. He was supposed to be at the end of the day my friend first and foremost. Friends do not betray and humiliate people they love. If this was truly about a lack of intimacy then in my heart of hearts I knew this could not work out, he doesn't respect me or my boundaries. Sex was more important than me and it was crystal clear. So that is what I decided to type back to him.

Despite my utter disappointment, the other part of me was relieved. I was relieved that we hadn't taken our relationship to the next level, we didn't live together, I did not have a ring on my finger. It was so much better to be mad about the situation rather than sad. I showed Meg what I wrote and with her approval I hit the send button.

We rejoined the guys in the kitchen, where both men had mimosas ready for us: a girl could get used to this. "I have to say, Christine, that you could not be any cuter in those clothes." Nadir laughed at me. I blushed bright red at the realization that I was still wearing Erik's pajamas; but hey they were really comfortable. Meg swatted at his arm warningly. "What?"

"You're an idiot." Meg rolled her eyes and we all proceeded to laugh.

It wasn't long until we found ourselves a few more mimosas in out on the balcony arranging ourselves on the array of outdoor furniture. We cheer's over playing hooky from rehearsal today. As much as I was enjoying the process it was so much nicer to sleep a little bit in and have brunch in Erik's penthouse then it was to be in stuffy studios all day. It was nice to sit outside, the sun on my face and fresh breeze every now and then. Being so high up you hardly heard the sounds of traffic or people screaming in the streets; it was absolutely peaceful at the top of the world.

It was peaceful until I finally noticed my phone was going off. It was an unsaved number, but by the time I investigated into it, the phone call was missed and I saw the long list of missed calls from this morning from Raoul and this other number. I wanted to just ignore it until Meg's phone began to go off and it was the same unsaved number. I prayed that Raoul wasn't stupid enough to reach out to Meg, he really couldn't be that stupid. Meg and I looked at each other, perplexed as to what to do. She, being way more brave than I am picked up the phone, "Hello? I'm sorry, who is this? Mike! Yeah, I did say that. Yeah, she is here." She looked directly at me. Everyone was leaning in, curious about the phone call. She put the phone down and looked at me, she appeared to be very concerned, "Now you know I would hang this phone right up at the mention of his name," she spoke in a hushed tone. "But he sounds really panicked, do you want to talk to him?" I nodded my head and took the phone from Meg. "Hello?" my voice was a tad bit shaky, fully expecting to get a verbal beat down by Raoul's best friend but what I heard on the other end of the phone reduced me to tears, "Why? What's going on?" I started to really breakdown. Erik had one arm around my shoulders and the other squeezing my arm. My body started shaking uncontrollably, "What's wrong?" I demanded into the phone, wiping the tears from my eyes. "Don't scare me, please. What's going on?" I could feel myself crumble, I couldn't really understand everything he was saying, it wasn't sticking. I cried out, "I can't!" and Meg took the phone back from me.

I wrapped my arms around my knees, holding them against my chest as I sobbed into my forearms. Erik held me in his arms, trying to sooth my sobs; little did he know that he should be running in the opposite direction, mortified about my actions.

"Hello? It's Meg again. Okay, are you close? Okay, if you cannot get in his room, I want you to text me and I want you to call 911 immediately. No joke, text me and tell me what happens. Okay, thank you." She hung up the phone and I could feel everyone's eyes on me. "Chris, it's going to be okay. They always say you should call 911, because either you save a life or he's bluffing. Either way we are going to get him help." She was kneeling before me, I couldn't even look her in the eyes I was so ashamed. Her phone rang again, "Hey, are you upstairs? All right, okay. Okay, as long as you're in the room, okay."

"Mike said he's in the room, so he's going text me in a few minutes and give me an update."

I felt a sigh of relief leave my lips, lifting my head and looking at Meg's reassuring face.

"Do you want me to call, Raoul?" by the sound of her tone she was very serious about putting her shit aside and calling him, only if it meant to ease my mind. I nodded my head and handed her my phone, thinking maybe he would answer if it came up as my name. She dialed the phone on speaker.

"Raoul?"

"Yeah?" He was barely audible, he sounded like a mix of tired and intoxicated.

"It's Meg. Are you okay?"

"I just…I just can't do this." He was definitely drunk.

"What does that mean, you can't do this? Did you take anything today?"

All we could hear was crying on the other end.

"Okay, I can't understand you, you need to talk a little clearer, okay?" I couldn't believe the sensitivity Meg was displaying towards Raoul.

"I just can't do this without her."

"I understand, but try to get better. You can't just give up, okay?"

He continued crying.

"Raoul, I can't understand you. I wish I could. "

"I'll never fucking meet anybody more beautiful than her, and I love her. But she doesn't love me." He sounded so sad and so drunk.

"She definitely does love you, but she wants you to get better and love yourself." That wasn't a lie, I still love Raoul but he betrayed me.

"My life is officially over. I just want it to be over, and I just wanted you to know."

She cut him off, "You don't want your life to be over. What are you talking about?"

"I just can't fucking get it together. I can't handle it."

"I know you're not going to do anything to yourself. You're in a very negative space, okay? You've got to stop. You can't do this to her."

It was never ending this whole conversation.

"I've got to go; tell her I love her."

"Where are you going? Raoul?" The line was dead. "He hung up."

"You did a good job, Meg." Nadir said rubbing her back.

We all sat there, silent and unresolved. I am sure everyone had a million questions but no one was speaking. I couldn't take the silence so I excused myself to use the bathroom. I ended up in the kitchen pouring myself more prosecco, if anyone needed a drink it was me.

Meg's POV

"So are you going to tell us what just happened?" I looked at Erik and Nadir's worried faces. Had I known what would occur by me telling Christine about her boyfriend's indiscretion, I would have handled it a lot more carefully.

"Well to make a long story short, Christine's boyfriend had been long rumored to be cheating on her. Last night I got visual evidence that he does in fact cheat on her. I showed her the picture, she got pissed and she sent it to him saying they were done. Fast forward to this morning she had a lot of missed messages from him ranging from denial to apologies to blaming her. So she sent him a text saying she was disappointed in him and that it was in fact over. I am guessing he didn't like that and either started drinking then or in my opinion he hadn't stopped drinking from last night and is now upsetting everyone." I feel like I had said all of that in one breath. I shook my head at myself, having now said the story out loud for the first time I realized how dramatic this all was.

"So when were you guys going to tell me she was in a relationship?" Erik said without any emotion, but with all of the emotions at the same time. I physically gulped. I did not need that man to be angry with me.

"Don't get self-righteous with me," I defended myself. "I was the one trying to get her away from him and with you."

"No fighting, please." Nadir finally spoke up. "We need to remember what is important here. We are dealing with a situation that has Christine upset and can put her in a situation where she forgives him and takes him back just so he doesn't kill himself."

We all knew Nadir was right. Raoul was manipulative on a good day, but this was emotional blackmail and Christine is too good natured to see through his act. I decided it was a good idea to go and find her and talk about the conversation and how we need to move forward.

But by the time we got back inside Christine was gone and my heart shattered into a million pieces.

I still had her phone and God only knows where she went, but I prayed that she didn't go to him.

 **Author's Note:** Thank you so much, as always for reading and reviewing my story. It really means a lot to me. I believe the next few chapters will be getting into darker themes so please advise the warnings and I will try my best to warn you as best as I can. So please tell me how you're enjoying yourself, I love hearing from you.


	8. Chapter 8

Christine's POV

I couldn't breathe. There was no oxygen. There was no escape. I would have to face the consequences of my actions sooner or later and I had decided that it had to be later. There was no way I could stay there a moment longer. What kind of monster does what I have done?

I could feel heated stares from the strangers who occupied the same subway car as me, it was as if they knew what I had done and what a disgusting person I was. Realistically it probably had more to do that I looked like an insane person still wearing Erik's satin pajama set and his oversized slip-ons. Regardless, I deserved to be judged.

Everything appeared to me as if I were living in some indie film where the shots were filmed in cool blues and greens, light was bright and white, teetering on grey. It was quiet uptown; nothing like the hustle and bustle of midtown Manhattan. I was thankful for the absence of people, the absence of stares. I had made it into our apartment without having to make any kind of small talk or acknowledgement from any of our neighbors, it was then, finally that I burst into controllable tears. Sobs shook my body as I tried to get myself from the front door into my kitchen. My mind set on trying to block out the last twelve hours, none of it could have truly happened. There was a bottle of rosé in the fridge, _this will have to do,_ I uncorked the bottle and held it from its neck and guzzled its contents with shaky hands and trembling lips. It wasn't working. Frustrated I kicked the refrigerator door closed as I continued to down the bottle. I made my way over the couch, never letting that bottle leave my grip when I finally realized that Meg had my phone. _God, fucking damn it! This couldn't get any worse_.

Meg's POV

The series of events that transpired this morning were straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster. Christine was missing in action and I was left to clean up the mess. Not that I resented it, she is my best friend and I felt responsible for a good percent of what transpired. It hadn't occurred to me how manipulative Raoul really was, and for that I was a complete fool.

An alert went off on my phone, it was a notification from the popular celebrity news site: Page Six. I could not believe my eyes.

"Houston," I said, to the surprise of Erik and Nadir who had been conversing between themselves about God knows what. "We have a problem."

I handed my phone over to Nadir who just about dropped the phone along with his jaw. Erik immediately tugged the phone out of his hands to get a better look, "Shit." Was all he could muster to say.

The name of the article: _DON JUAN TRIUMPANT: New York City's Reclusive and Highly Sought After Composer and Bachelor Seen Dancing the Night Away with Chorus Girl._ It read: _Last night, Erik Destler, composer and architect, was spotted with a female companion tearing up the dance floor at the exclusive Bar SixtyFive. The bachelor, who's reputation has been famously known as being withdrawn, took a night off from his upcoming musical Don Juan Triumphant to steal away with a chorus girl from his show. Sources have revealed the identity of the chorus girl as Christine Daaé, who will be making her Broadway debut when the show enters previews next Friday night. Not a lot is known about Destler, but it is clear to this writer (and anyone who has eyes) that he is absolutely smitten with Miss Daaé and feeling appears to be mutual._

The article continued with photos of Erik and Christine. One image contained the two of them dancing, Christine with her back to Erik, his left hand on her hip and his right lying flat on her stomach. Her head was turned over her left shoulder her eyes cast down with a giant seductive grin on her face, her fingers interlaced with his.

The last image on the page was of Erik holding Christine by her waist as they left the building and entering the limousine. I was surprised that none of the images contained any of Nadir and myself.

I could see Erik's face turning red as he seethed reading the article, "How could this have happened? Who knew we were there, Nadir?" he demanded.

"How should I know? You think I would rat you out to the press." Nadir said defensively. I could see that the two of them were going to get into it and I wasn't going to let that happen.

"Guys! What does it matter? It is out there in the world and I am sure you know who is going to read this and I'm pretty sure if he was suicidal before he will be homicidal now and we have no idea where Christine is!" I screamed.

You could hear a pin drop the room was so silent. I gulped audibly as Erik still had the look of murder in his eyes, "Miss Giry," his voice was as cold as ice. "If your friend went to see her _boyfriend_ ," he said the word as if it was the foulest thing he could think of. "Then she has made her choice and I will not be making an even bigger fool of myself by pursuing this further." It was as if he was looking past me, and he was. He was heading towards the island in the kitchen where he bent down to open up a cabinet within it, revealing a bottle of expensive bourbon.

How could he think about drinking at a time like this? "So that's it? You're just going to give up and let that asshole win?" I pleaded with him, and he wouldn't even look at me.

"I would hold my tongue if I were you, Miss Giry." He was emotionless, and made no eye contact. "After all, if it weren't for your meddling none of this would have happened."

He skillfully poured the contents of the bottle into the crystal glass. It took all of me not to knock the glass from his hand.

"She needed to know!" My anger could not be contained. "Contrary to what you may think, this has very little to do with you and all to do with Christine and what her happiness means to me. And if I thought for a minute that asshole was making her happy and I wouldn't have said a damn thing. She was unhappy with him and needed and out and I gave it to her. You wanted her and I trusted you would be perfect to her. But clearly I was wrong." I turned to leave, looking at Nadir who stood there stunned and silent. I loved the man to death but he was practically useless when Erik was in one of his tantrums. "You don't know how bad it is."

"You said she loved him." I heard the once magnificent and intimidating voice now turned sad and defeated. I turned to face him, the once full glass was almost finished. What he said didn't warrant a response; he had already decided that that was a fact.

"He beats her." I couldn't believe I said that out loud. I never told anyone that before. I could see Erik's knuckles turn white as he squeezed the counter he was leaning on. Quickly, I had to explain, "I don't think she knows I know. We never talked about it. " I walked into the kitchen and sat down at the island. Nadir came up behind me and sat down in the adjacent stool. "He had us all fooled. For a while we would all hang out as just friends, he charmed us and made us believe he was this amazing guy. We were super into partying and getting fucked up every single night of the week. Anyways, when he and Christine became officially and exclusively dating we went to a party at Mike's apartment. We had all been drinking and smoking and one thing led to another and Raoul and Christine were missing so I went to look for her. That is when I heard Raoul screaming belligerently at her and she was crying. Then I saw him slap her across the face and she went down and her began to kick her, hard. I ran and found Mike almost immediately and he got Raoul off of her. That was the last night I spent any time with Raoul and his friends."

Having to relive it all over again made me shudder as tears were escaping my eyes. "We never talked about that night. But ever since then I noticed all these little changes in Christine starting with her hair; I didn't think anything of it until I realized she had lost ten pounds. If he doesn't hit her he most certainly emotionally and verbally abuses her. He was over at the apartment and I overheard him calling her fat, then the next thing I knew she lost another five pounds."

I cried, I cried for my friend who I loved and wanted desperately to help but felt like I could not. She didn't want to believe the truth of the situation, until last night that is.

Suddenly a thought occurred to me in that moment to go through Christine's phone, "Wait, did you happen to see if she was wearing her Apple Watch this morning?"  
Erik seemed to remember her wearing it. Bingo. I logged into the where is my iPhone app, a while back Christine and I told each other our Apple ID passwords in case of an emergency we would be able to track each other's phones.

"Thank fucking God!" I screamed horrifying my companions. "She's at home! Thank God!" I jumped off the stool and started for the door. "I've got to go and talk to her." And before I could let them protest I was out the door and calling for an Uber.

Nadir's POV

I couldn't help the feeling of guilt swelling up inside of me. I had tried to warn Erik about idolizing Christine too much, to not expect her to wait for him as Meg had waited for me. He truly believed in his heart of hearts that she was meant for him and him alone and that she was saving herself for him. I saw the sly grin on his face when she had admitted to being a virgin, a concept that I could not fully grasp knowing that she was in a relationship and the obvious fact that she had a body made for sin.

When Meg had told me that Christine's boyfriend was a dirt bag I had warned her not to get involved until she had tangible proof. Well, she finally had it and sure enough Christine was drawn to Erik like a moth to the light. I was beginning to question my warnings to Erik; perhaps Christine was meant for him. But it all came plummeting down when we received that fateful call. I could feel Erik's every emotion as the day progressed. What I hadn't expected was for him to give up entirely. Christine had left and we could only assume it was to assist her distraught young man; she cared about him and I believe that was hard for Erik to comprehend.

Bless my beautiful little Meg's heart, she had thought she could reach him in one of his famous temper tantrums, but it was no use; he had decided that he had lost. But when she began to tell us the truth of Christine's situation, I had dreaded what outcome Erik would have. I could see him thinking and working through the last eighteen hours in his head, and it was exactly as I feared: this was war.

"Do you know what this means, Nadir?" I could see that this was not going to end well. "She doesn't love him, Nadir. That manipulative asshole has attempted to destroy her spirit, feeding on her unfounded insecurities,"

I watched as Erik began to pour us another bourbon, it amazed me how much this man could drink and never really lose any inhibitions. I knew this behavior a lot more than I wanted to; and it scared me.

"This is excellent news, my friend. She had waited for me, the boy was just a passing fancy, she need not waste a moment longer with that arrogant fool."

"I wouldn't be too hasty. The situation is extremely delicate."

He looked at me wide-eyed and confused as if there could be no flaws in the plans he had devised in his head.

I continued, "It has been four years of mental terrorization, Erik. The strength she needs needs to come from within her. I think she knows on some level that this person is all wrong, hell he betrayed her trust in the worst way by making her look like a fool with another woman. But something tells me that there is a deeper problem here. I can only assume from the conversation that she and I have had in our coaching's together that she doesn't seem to think highly of herself,"

"Well, I can help with that. She needs to be removed from the negativity first and foremost."

"I don't think it is as easy as that,"

"Enough! Are you suggesting that I just let her wander back to him? I will not be kept on the sidelines as a backup plan for when he inevitably fucks up again."

"And I am not suggesting you do that."

"Then what pray tell are you suggesting I do."

"Let Christine digest this, after all a lot has happened in the last twenty-four hours. The emotional stakes are way too high for anyone to make any kind of rash decisions. You included."

I could tell my words were settling in, he was truly contemplating what it was I was saying. The silence was almost deafening if not for the swirling of his glass, the ice hitting against the crystal. I sat myself down across from him but he denied me eye contact. If I knew anything about Erik it was that he was action now consequences later and for him the consequences were generally minimal, but this was new territory. Christine ignited something in him that even I could not put my finger on. I knew he was possessive and obsessive but this was even beyond that. I had never truly feared for her, until now.

What seemed like a lifetime of silence was finally ended when he ran his fingers through his hair, rising to his feet and walking past me as if I didn't exist. I saw him shuffling around the apartment, gathering his belongings. I couldn't let him leave without knowing what he was thinking, "Erik, please. What are you doing?"

"I am going to her."

"You cannot show up to her apartment unannounced."

"Do not tell me what I can and cannot do, Kahn." His voice cut through me like a knife. "Besides, I am sure that young man of hers has no doubt read that trash they call an article. And so help me, Nadir if one single hair on her head is harmed I will hold you personally responsible."

"Enough!" The sound that came out my mouth frightened me and stopped Erik dead in his tracks. "You need to leave her alone. For Christ's sake, I haven't even heard from Meg yet! For once in your life truly think about what you are doing before you just go ahead and do it. You need to stop thinking about yourself and what you want and consider Christine."

"Call her." It was just barely a whisper.

"What?"

"Call her. I need a drink."

Christine's POV

I can't believe after everything I could just fall asleep on the couch. My mouth was dry and my head was pounding. I rolled off the couch and went into the kitchen to fill up my glass gallon with Kangen water. I am a naturally fast drinker, with any beverage really. I needed to hydrate if I thought I was going to be able to sing tomorrow. Fuck, I have to go to rehearsal tomorrow. I could feel the dread fill up in my stomach at the thought of facing Erik tomorrow. What was I going to say? "Sorry I ran out of your apartment like a lunatic?" I was so pathetic I could not hate myself any more than I do now.

I heard the lock turn on the front door and I nearly pissed myself. Logically I knew it could only be Meg but my heart decided to skip a beat when she came into the living room, launching herself at me, tears streaming down her face, she embraced me, "Oh thank God you're here!" I started to cry too. I had worried my friend on top of everything else, I truly was winning the shittiest person of the year award.

"Don't you ever do that to me again, do you hear me?" I shook my head yes as we continued to hold onto each other.

We sat down on the couch, when Meg took my hands and looked me directly in the eyes. I could see on her face that she had new, and bad news at that. But nothing could prepare me for what she was about to tell me. I think I temporarily lost hearing as she told me about the Page Six article. She pulled it up on her phone and showed me the images of myself dancing with Erik. What upset me the most was how happy I looked dancing with Erik. But I had ruined everything. And when I thought all of this could not get any worse, the obvious had occurred to me. Other people have seen this article. The company has most likely seen this article. My uncle has probably see this article, but worst of all Raoul has most certainly seen this article.

Meg gave me back my phone and just like that it had started all over again. The missed calls, the stream of texts from both Mike and Raoul. I couldn't take it. I just wanted to die, right then and there.

Meg's phone began to ring, she looked down at the screen and rolled her eyes, "Hey Mike," I swatted Meg's arm and mouthed to her to put it on speaker. I needed to know what I was going to be dealing with.

"So, we saw the Page Six article."

"Yes and?" God I loved Meg, she really couldn't give too shits. I wish I was more like her.

"Is it true?"

"What does it matter?"

"What's with the attitude? I have literally done nothing to you."

"I'm sorry, but considering the circumstances I do not see why I need to explain anything to you. Christine has made it quite clear that she doesn't want to continue a relationship with Raoul."

"We are not so different you and I. I am trying to help my friend and I imagine that's what you are doing too." There was a pause. I looked at Meg and without speaking gave her permission to do what she needed to do.

"Mike, that article is completely irrelevant."

Suddenly the voice on the phone changed, "What do you mean it's irrelevant?" I could hear Raoul on the other end say. His voice sounded pained.

"Christine, I know you're there and I hope you are listening. I am so sorry; I get it completely now. You showed me how horrible it feels to be humiliated like that. I know now how much I hurt you because seeing that article really hurt me. I don't want to see you in another man's arms just as much as you do not want to see me in another woman's. Can we please talk about this?"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Did he truly believe I did this as some sort of revenge? Make him have a taste of his own medicine? This didn't seem right, how could he not be angry? How could he not be calling me a whore or a bitch or anything? Instead he's understanding why did what I did. But I didn't do anything, especially not with him in mind.

"Raoul, I was there last night, she didn't do anything the paparazzi took pictures and spun a story. None of this had anything to do with you and all to do with the media trying to get dirt on our employer."

It wasn't really a lie, not completely. I truly didn't do anything with Erik, and even if I had I would have been in the right to do so. Or at least that is what I wanted to tell myself. I didn't want to hurt Raoul I just want him to go away, be with a girl who isn't sexually anorexic. Find someone who wasn't focused on a career as time consuming as Broadway.

"That's even better. Don't you see this article was a godsend, I have learned my lesson, the idea of Christine with anyone else," he paused. "It destroyed me even more than the idea of her no longer wanting me. I know that I hurt her and I know that I destroyed her trust, but I will never make this mistake again. I know now that I need her, really and truly need her."

I wanted to run again, this isn't at all how I expected this conversation to go. I hated myself that there was a shred of me that wanted to go back to how we were. Back to before I knew that he was cheating on me, before I knew that I had longed for someone else.

"Raoul," I finally spoke up.

"Christine!" the excitement in his voice broke my heart.

"Listen, I know the need to want to fix everything as quickly as possible and just sweep it under the rug, but I simply cannot do that. I am going to need a little bit of time to process everything that has just happened." My voice began to break as the tears started coming. "I feel humiliated in more ways than one."

"Christine, you have to know how sorry I am for hurting you."

"I hear you, Raoul," I sighed, trying to regain composure. "But you have said a lot of things in both text messages and voicemails-"

"I was drunk and angry!"

And there it was, just when I thought he had changed and was truly sorry for what he had done. I could have thrown the phone across the room, "Do you not understand that nothing is going to be resolved right now?" Meg quickly took over seeing that I was about to either scream myself or just break down all together.

There was only silence on the other end of the line. Meg took this as an opportunity to speak her mind, "You have threatened to do God-knows-what today and got your friend, Christine and myself very upset, do you realize that that is not okay?"

Again, silence. I couldn't believe that Meg would bring up that Raoul had basically threatened to end his own life as a result of me breaking up with him.

"Again, I was drunk and angry and sad and I wasn't in the right head space. I know that isn't okay to say, Meg. I can't apologize enough for causing any more stress than I have. But I have known Christine for basically my whole life and I refuse to let this end because I made a horrible decision."

He refuses to let this end? As if he had any say so in the matter. He gave up his right to have any say in this relationship the minute he betrayed it. It all came flooding back to me, the awful text messages the voicemails on my phone telling me that it was all my fault, had I only just gave it up to him he wouldn't have had to find it elsewhere. He didn't just kiss this girl at the bar, they had sex, and I am guessing it wasn't the first time this had happened. God, how could I have been so dumb? I let my feelings blind me from what actually happened, he wanted to guilt me into staying with him by threatening his life, guilt me into believing that my time with Erik was some sort of revenge. I was going blind with hatred.

"I'm sorry to break it to you, Raoul but in life our decisions have consequences and if you cared so much about Christine and your relationship you wouldn't risk it by hooking up with some tramp." God I loved Meg, she could articulate my thoughts way better than I ever could.

"Alright we are just going in circles here," I heard an exasperated Mike say. "We can point fingers all day long, but all that is going to do is cause more hurt feelings."

"So what are you suggesting?" Meg replied probably more exasperated than him.

"You said it yourself, nothing can be resolved right now. The wound is too fresh. So I suggest that they both take a time out this week and have a conversation later about what they would like to do. Is that fair?"

Meg looked at me. It took all of me to not snatch the phone and tell them to both fuck off. But I hated to admit that they had a point, I didn't get to have a real conversation about what had happened with Raoul, I just sent a text saying we were done without any explanation. In fact, I told him we were done, ignored him, sent him into a rage and then he read an article about me being another man's love interest. I wasn't completely innocent and I did want answers, fuck I deserve answers. I reluctantly nodded my head yes, I would take the week to think about it and then sit down with him and come to some conclusion.

"Thank you, Christine. I love you so much." Those words would haunt me for the rest of the evening.

Author's Note: OMG I am so sorry that took me so long. I wrote and rewrote this chapter about a thousand times and still I am not completely satisfied. I really appreciate those of you who have been reviewing and giving me feedback it really helps! Anyways let me know what you think and hopefully it won't take me three months to update.


	9. Chapter 9

Meg had taken a private call in her bedroom, it made me all kinds of anxious knowing people were talking about me behind my back; I did not wish to be discussed. The rest of the evening was pretty uneventful, and for that I was extremely thankful and undeserving. We decided to vape some weed and ordered in some Chinese food, I tried to argue that I did not need to be bloated on top of sounding like shit from binge drinking the last twenty-four hours, but Meg argued that after all we endured we deserved to splurge just a little.

When I woke up this morning, I had almost forgotten that everything happened wasn't some deeply unpleasant drug hallucination; too bad that it was all real and I was finally in the aftermath. I dragged myself all over the apartment, showering, shaving, brushing my teeth and getting all of my things organized so that I could potentially have a normal day. Leave it to me to finally get everything I ever wanted only to ruin it within the first week.

Bless Meg for trying to keep me from not jumping in front of the train, because you know your girl definitely took it into consideration. She shoved my arm and called me an idiot for overthinking and she reassured me that everything was fine. I didn't like that she and Nadir were scheming again, that is after all, how we got into all of this mess. We got down to 42nd street with twenty minutes to spare so we ran into the Starbucks on the corner to get our daily dose of caffeine when the idea occurred to me, "Meg, can you text Nadir and ask Erik what his order from Starbucks is?"

This delighted her to no end, she squealed and began texting away, "I thought you were going to be a sad Eeyore all day!" she glanced back down at her phone, "Nadir says and I quote, 'I do not drink that shit'," she rolled her eyes, until another message appeared. "But if he had to drink that garbage he would have a blonde roast, black. Such a diva!" we both had a good laugh about the Starbucks order.

And with three venti iced caramel macchiatos and one grande blonde roast we were in the elevator arriving to the studios now with ten minutes to spare. I exhaled loudly as we exited the elevator and headed into the studio where Nadir and Erik were seated at a large table with a mound of papers. I had never seen Nadir with his glasses on, which took me a second to take in and not laugh at how overly dramatic the two of them looked. I thought my nerves would be dispersed by the scene but they quickly returned when Erik met my gaze. I felt so awkward, I couldn't read him at all.

"You two look like you could use some caffeine," Meg extended the cup intended for Nadir. They exchanged a quick kiss and then it was my turn to give Erik his coffee, I walked over to be as close to him as Meg was to Nadir. He stood as I came to him and in an awkward exchange of me bringing him the coffee that he was settling for. He took the cup from my hands and our eyes met, "Thank you," _Oh fuck._ I do not know what came over me and I do not know why I thought this was the most natural thing to do but I rose on my toes and suddenly my lips were on his, but only for a moment. I swear I heard someone gasp, and it was probably myself. Once I realized what I did, my eyes went wide as did his.

"Hey Nadir, why don't you come and check out the dance sequence that happens before the feast scene." Meg said tugging on Nadir to get out of there. And just like that they were gone and we were left alone.

I still couldn't get a read on him. He had resumed his seat at the table but waited patiently for me to make the first move, "I am so sorry," was all I could muster to say.

"For what exactly?" his tone was near emotionless, and this is what I truly feared: him being angry with me.

I sat down where Nadir was sitting before, his hands were resting against the table and with one giant brave breath I reached for one. He almost seemed to wince at my touch but he made no attempt to stop me, "For everything," I tried my hardest not to cry in front of him, but his coldness wasn't thawing. "I owe you a massive explanation. You have been nothing but wonderful to me and I acknowledge that I have taken you for granted."

And it was true, I had taken him for granted. I don't think it was in the forefront of my mind but I think there was a part of me that recognized that I could do anything I wanted because I knew somehow that this person would always be wonderful to me. I had no fear when it came to him; that was something that ran rampant through my relationship with Raoul.

He didn't say anything but his manner suggested he wanted me to continue, "You gave me one of the best nights of my life since I have moved here. You have been nothing but kind and gentle with me," I squeezed his hand and I felt him try to fight off a grin on his face. "In my mind I was done with that relationship and I seized at the opportunity of enjoying your company because I had no reason to deny myself that." He was finally opening up and I could see the thoughts going across his eyes; it was the look of defeat.

"I should have made sure that my ties were severed completely before I initiated anything with you, I know that. But I couldn't deny my attraction to you," It was worth being deeply humiliated because I could see that he was relieved to hear me say that. "That night was real, Erik. My feelings for you are real. I could have never guessed in a million years that things would have gone the way it went yesterday morning. I was overwhelmed and embarrassed, you had taken care of me and given me safe place to stay and all I could repay you with is twenty-one-year-old girl drama." My heart was racing in my chest, but I knew this was my only chance to make things right with Erik, even if it didn't result in us being together; I couldn't bear the thought him hating me or for him to think I used him. "So I left, I didn't want you to have to deal with me and all of my baggage."

He was oddly quiet and contemplative. I felt myself give another deep exhale, the adrenaline that was coursing through my system was giving me so much anxiety. For the first time in my life I had been truly honest with myself and now there was no taking anything back. My hand was still on top of his so I gave him another reassuring squeeze, hoping to communicate that I truly do care about him and his feelings in all of this. We locked eyes, but before he could speak most of the cast started to come through the door. He pulled away from me a quickly as possible, as to not give away how intimate he and I had just been. I pushed myself out of the chair and gathered my things, when I felt his hand on my arm. He came very close to my ear and said, "What are you doing tonight?" my heart had finally calmed down its rapid beating.

I did not see Erik for the better half of the rehearsal, I had resumed my position in the ensemble in the studio next to the one he was currently in. We quickly ran through the music that we were to sing in the company numbers as well as some off stage singing. Nadir was unbelievably professional as a musical director, very thorough and had done well with selecting very smart musicians. I could tell Meg was a little over her head with the singing. When we were growing up Meg was dead set on strictly being a ballerina, so she was pretty late to the party when it came to singing. I could feel Nadir quietly beam with pride as she held down that alto section like a champ. I couldn't believe how fast this process was, for it was nearly time to break for lunch and we had already mastered the second act's opening number that included a dance sequence that was admittedly challenging for me.

Despite being in dance class every day of my life, it wasn't as easy for me as singing. I think Meg and I have a friendly competitive thing going on in that she is strong in aspects that I am not and vice versa. I was just glad I had a friend in the room.

"This is so amazing!" Meg said completely out of breath, dabbing a towel to her brow removing the sweat that had accumulated there.

It was the first time in hours since I had checked my phone and of course as I dreaded there were numerous text messages from Raoul. I sighed heavily, _can't he take a hint and leave me be?_ I opened up our message thread and read the deceptively sweet messages he wrote:

 _Good morning, princess!_

 _Hope you have a great day at rehearsal_

 _I just wanted to let you know how unbelievably sorry I am for everything; you deserve better from me._

 _I was hoping I could take you to dinner one of these nights so we can talk._

 _Message me when you get a chance._

My heart felt heavy reading his increasingly desperate text messages, I nearly cursed myself for having any kind of hope that I was wrong about him and that all of this was just some terrible mistake and he truly was my sweet Raoul that I knew all those years ago.

"Who's bothering you?" Meg asked, probably knowing the answer.

"You know; Christine you can block his number."

I felt the panic returning to my chest, "I couldn't do that to him, Meg. I just want this to be over and done with."

"Ok, breathe," She petted my arm trying to calm me down. "It's going to be fine, this actually couldn't be better timing."  
"What do you mean?"

"Well I have been thinking about it and the reality is that you are going to be busy as fuck for the next year at least. Doing eight shows a week isn't exactly the best thing for a relationship when he works a nine to five and you are leaving to do a show at six thirty not to mention matinees and rehearsals. You would never see him, even if things were good between you two."

She was right, even if he wasn't a jerk who has probably slept with half of Manhattan he would eventually, with me being gone every night. It was a tough pill to swallow that any way you slice it Raoul and I have outgrown each other and our lives were not matching up.

"I suppose you're right. It just sucks that things have to change."

"There is a lot of safety in familiarity," She stated blatantly. And perhaps she was right, maybe the only reason I was even considering staying with Raoul is that I know what that is like, the last three years he has been there for better or for worse he was a consistent in my life. And after losing both my parents it was really hard for me to show people to the door, I didn't want anyone else to leave me.

I heard a group of the other chorus girls start to giggle and whisper. I turned around just to meet them trying to look away from me as quickly as possible, but it was too late I had seen them and my anxiety was leading me to believe that these girls were whispering about me. One of the girls was extremely bad when it came to fighting back her laughter. It took a minute for Meg to become curious as to what was going on, "What's so funny, ladies?"

The girls all looked at each other, earing each one's approval to engage with us. I could feel a lump in my throat when the hyena of the group handed over her phone, "So tell us, Christine. How is he?" The implication was _how is he in bed_. But what those stupid bitches didn't realize was how malicious and evil this article was and how horribly it was currently ruining my life.

I felt the urge to run in the opposite direction but that would only make me look guilty and weird. Not that I needed their friendship but if we were going to be working together I needed to keep my shit together and nip this thing in the bud before it turned into real company gossip.

"So you believe everything you read in the tabloids? That's kind of pathetic." I said dryly handing back her phone as if it was the foulest thing I had ever touched in my life. This caused Meg to laugh even harder and even more cruel than the girls were even capable of.

"Hate to break it to you ladies, but Page Six wanted some dirt on Destler and they invented this ludicrous story to see if they could get a response out of him. Fuck, I was there that night and I had my share of dances with Destler too, surprised the headline didn't make it out to be a ménage à trois." This got everyone laughing this time. The girls quickly apologized for their assumption of me and it was kind of nice and partly genuine. Part of me wanted to believe in their sincerity but there was a much larger part of me that knew that they didn't get the response they wanted out of me and didn't want to look like a group of gossiping bitches. They must have figured out by now that Meg had leverage with Nadir and if they even slightly believed that article, I had leverage with Erik and he could make or break them in a matter of ten minutes.

I smiled at Meg, and she knowingly smiled back. She always had my back and wouldn't let these harpies try to make me out as some kind of whore. "Did you hear about Carlotta?" I heard one of the girls say. Apparently the conversation had moved on and we were now included. "No, what happened? Isn't she here?"

"Well I heard she threatened to not come back and shut this whole show down!" she squealed with delight.

"Sorry, Christine, but the reason we were even discussing the validity of that article is because it's the reason Carlotta had a mega breakdown." Said the girl who introduced herself as Danielle.

"I'm sorry, I'm not following," I spoke up and the girls began to laugh again.

"Well, it's kind of a big secret that pretty much everyone knows but doesn't really talk about." And this is why Meg is literally my only friend. Girls, especially in this industry could be catty as fuck and it was irritating to try and have some semblance of a real conversation. I knew to not let my guard down in front of these women, because they would use any kind of ammo they could get.

"So what is it?" Meg finally spoke up, she too fed up with the riddles.

"Well they say that Destler and Carlotta are lovers. Ever since she joined the project in the West End they have been super intimate. And when Carlotta read that article she felt slighted. I am sure she will be sporting some new earrings or necklace tomorrow as well as some afterglow if you know what I mean." Danielle winked at me. And I did know what she meant by that and it made me want to puke. I was able to excuse myself from the conversation without too many questions from the other girls, Meg was roped into staying and helping the girls with some of the choreography.

I had to talk to him. I needed to know the truth, right now, immediately. My heart was pounding so loud I could hear it in my ears. I was about to walk into the main studio I had found him in earlier but the door was ajar and I could hear him and some shrill woman talking. I stood by the door and I could perfectly make out everything they were saying.

"Carlotta, please be reasonable, my dove." His voice, I would know it anywhere.

"Reasonable!" her voice, not as pleasant. "Who is that girl, Erik! I want her gone!"

"She is nobody of importance, Carlotta." _No one of importance._

"Well, then it wouldn't be any trouble to fire her immediately."

"Unfortunately, my dear she is on an Equity contract, she is very much protected from being fired without cause. It would cost us a lot of money to get rid of her."

"I don't care!" she roared. "Am I also right to understand that that thing is to be my understudy? Is that what this is about? You replacing me!"

"Get a hold of yourself!" His voice roared louder than hers. "Now, I understand you are upset but there really is no need to work yourself up over someone as insignificant as Christine Daae." My name, he just laughed off my name as if it was absurdly funny.

"Nadir and I were supposed to go to dinner alone, but of course his bleach blonde girlfriend insisted on coming and she brought her friend along with us. This whole thing was a set-up, Carlotta, nothing more." His voice returned to its velvet-like texture, calming, reassuring, loving.

"Then why did she get in a car with you?"

"Nadir and his girlfriend were there too. He lives in my building, you know that. She spent the night with them."

This seemed to appease the diva. Now it all made sense, he was only being nice to me because I am his friend's girlfriend's friend. In fact, I am less than that, I am insignificant to him. I should leave, but I can't move.

"The press has been dying to get any kind of information they can about me. This is a tabloid and nothing more, mon Cherie."

"Oh Erik, I am so sorry I let my emotions get the best of me. What with you wanting to keep our relationship private it felt like such a betrayal to see you photographed with another woman in public."

"She is an employee, Carlotta. She's a nice girl and I understand she is involved with one of the Chagny brothers. I am sure she is having the same conversation with him about all of this."

I could physically feel my heart breaking. I don't know why I am choosing to torture myself like this. I was so sure that the other night was real, that he could like someone like me. I am an idiot a complete fucking idiot. My phone began to buzz and I ran away from the door as to not be caught eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Thank God, you didn't leave the building," Meg said and nearly made me jump. "What's wrong?" I couldn't fight my tears anymore.

"I was so wrong, Meg." I wept. Before I could get into it Nadir appeared and called out to us who were understudies to come into the studio that Erik and Carlotta were currently occupying. I assumed that they were alone in there, apparently they weren't. I patted the tears into my skin, as to not make my makeup run down my face. Arm in arm Meg and I went into the studio and I finally was face to face with Carlotta.

She was striking. Her fiery auburn hair against her olive complexation and these remarkable green eyes that were both cold and burning. It was clear that she immediately knew who I was; I turned my eyes to face the floor but I knew she was still staring at me. I found my spot on the floor and took out my notebook. When Carlotta walked by me in her rehearsal skirt she purposefully made sure she hit me with it. As much as it irritated me that this fully grown woman was acting like a spoiled child towards me, it was delightfully rewarding that my presence bothered her; it meant that I held some kind of power over her.

I turned around to see Nadir and Erik with Alex Santiago, the director. I turned back to face the space that was to be used as the stage. There was a makeshift picnic style stable with two long benches on either side of it on stage left and a cut out alcove upstage right. Carlotta was preparing herself off stage left while Ubaldo Piangi and his cover, Jeremy, who was currently playing a secondary role as Passarino were chatting quietly between themselves on the other side.

Finally, Mr. Santiago commanded the room's attention and informed us that we were to be working on one of the very crucial scenes of the production which occurred right after the feast scene. The song, The Point of No Return was one of my favorites in the production. It was the scene when Don Juan meets Aminta as she is getting ready to celebrate her marriage. The seduction of a married woman is part of the provocation of Don Juan, in particular in ridiculing the husband's honour. Aminta is troubled by the advances of Don Juan, accompanied once again by a promise of marriage that could raise her toward a better social condition. Between her husband and Don Juan, she hesitates and justifies herself, worried and afraid, but she finally yields easily enough to the seducer's convincing lies.

Carlotta came skipping out to center stage singing her line, "No thoughts within her head but thoughts within her head but thought of joy, no dreams within her heart but dreams of love."

She was clearly marking her music but she made no attempt to mask her brazen acting choices and winks that she was shooting Erik. I rolled my eyes at her obnoxious attempt. The rest of the scene was a bit of a letdown. Piangi and Carlotta had zero chemistry and instead of the song being about this powerful attraction and lust, it was the two of them trying to outdo the other with their egos. Finally, it was over and I hung onto every note that Santiago and Nadir gave the two. Of course there really was so reasoning with Carlotta who assumed everything she did was perfection.

Each time they did it Carlotta made no changes and each time it was worse than the last. Yet no one dared to make a comment or utter a sigh in frustration. It had occurred to me that people truly feared this woman. I tried to sneak a peek at Erik without him seeing me. His face was hard and his eyes looked as though they could kill. This shocked me. I didn't understand how this could be the same man who a few hours ago was stroking this woman's ego and being as gentle as a lamb could look as if he could ring her neck for killing his child.

I had to remind myself that he was a deceitful as Don Juan; he had been with me.

It was almost six when rehearsal was dismissed. I made a beeline for the door when I felt a hand fall on my shoulder.

Sorry I had to leave you a cliff! But I wanted to post this as soon as possible!


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